Christmas 2019

Christmas 2019

My house is unexpectedly quiet today with our second failed family Christmas gathering, so I am going to take the unexpected and and accomplish the unexpected..... a Christmas letter.  It is no secret that we miss so many of you, especially this time of year.  Even though we managed to pull together a fun family photo shoot, truth is, I still far prefer (and enjoy) the written word and the connection it somehow brings despite the distance.  So, here's to trying to making the best of the unexpected.

Aubrey Faith is now 17 and began taking classes full time at our local community college.  She has a goal to complete her AA when she receives her high school diploma next spring.  She works at our local nursing home as a CNA and volunteered her summer as a counselor at Camp Shamineau.  This fall she referred Ben for her position at Middle Fork Cafe, while getting certified to also begin working as a personal PCA.  She knocked her role as "Hodel" in the Fiddler on the Roof out of the park this fall, began the Fire Explorer program in Willmar, and is hoping to add the letters EMT behind her name when she turns 18.  She has learned a lot about margin this year, and spends time with her friends and boyfriend whenever possible.  An unexpected blessing with Aubrey's college schedule was having all my homeschooled kiddos home for an afternoon or two each week this fall.  We did some fun things, some lazy things, and I just tried to soak in the moments knowing how fleeting they are.  Aubrey is excited for speech to start and is anticipating a successful season!  I admire her ambition and she is teaching me what it looks like to emancipate a child.

Benjamin Michael is 14 now and has changed the most this year.  He is now over 6 feet tall and in a size 13 shoe, and he likely is not finished growing.  It is strange to look up to parent a junior high kid.  He stands a head taller than most of the kids his age.  He did almost all of our mowing this summer, which is a LOT.  He is now employed at a local cafe, and is learning to navigate and manage his schedule and responsibilities outside the home.  Ben will start drivers training in a few weeks, and I am very excited to welcome another driver in the home.  He also is a part of a local Fire Explorer program and he enjoys skiing, fishing, mountain biking, jazz band, and baseball.  He likes many sports, but would rather play just for fun with friends.... and if I'm being honest, I respect everything about the character behind that.  He is home schooled part time and attends public school for some classes.  Ben decided to be baptized at the lake this year... he has been waiting for an outdoor baptism service for years!  God humored him with rain, and he was dunked in the church instead.  We laughed with him.  He quoted Romans 2:1, and has had some very deep thoughts and wrestlings this year about the human condition and the mercy of God.  I treasure his trust and he is helping me learn what it looks like to respect a son.

Samantha Nicole is almost 12, and our smallest and most reserved Wookey kiddo is rapidly changing!  She somehow managed to grow 4 shoe sizes this year, and seems to have much to add to any conversation lately!  She is the 4th child in a 5 year span that we will parent through age 12.  It is overwhelmingly my least favorite year to navigate as a parent- BUT, sweet Sam promises to push right past it!  She enjoys volleyball, snowboarding, ripstick, and gymnastics, and plays softball socially-because honestly, she finds it terribly boring.  Sam also made the decision to be baptized this year, and shared a wonderful story about her prayer journey with the Lord.  She loves to help in the kitchen, and championed our apple harvest efforts all by herself this year.  Sam looks forward to homeschooling co-op and bible study time with friends.  I am grateful for her gratitude and she is helping me learn how to parent a child with a fiercely international heart.

Tatum Grace is 7 and a HALF, and is a tall, energetic, spirited young lady.  She spends most of her day trying to keep up with 3 junior high kids, so there is never a dull moment with her questions, comments, and antics.  Tate spends about half of the day upside down doing handstands and a good deal of time drawing and writing cards to others.  She made the decision to be baptized this year, and for the first time ever, was speechless in front of the crowd.  Her concern and care for others is intense.  She loves fiercely and although that can be exhausting now, I am very excited to see what the Lord does with that.  Tatum is still home schooled full time, but if I am being honest- would rather play LEGO's.  I have savored her sweet ever changing smile this year and she teaches me regualrly about raw, fierce, uncontitional love.

Anastassia Renae is also 14 and is still attending public school full time.  I do believe her and Aubrey have stopped growing-or at least nothing to report this year!  She made the decision to be baptized by her small group leader, Kellie Wright, this year.  It was a meaningful time to have 4 kids profess their faith and desire to follow Jesus at the same service.  Annie shared about her journey to faith, forgiveness, and overcoming the darkness with light.  She has began conversations with her mom this fall, and it is our hope and prayer that her healing journey will continue.  We are very proud of how far she has come in such a short while.  She is currently using the open afternoon to attend a ukulele lesson.  Annie enjoys art club, skiing, tubing, swimming, track, choir, and reading above all.  I am honored by her honesty and she helps me remember each day that what happens within your home matters greatly.

Roy and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this summer with a quick unexpected trip to Tahoe and San Francisco. I would not have believed this story God wrote for us, nor would I have ever chosen it.... in fact we have chosen so very little of it.  But choosing to do it together is the thing that has changed us the most and has been the foundation for so much of it.  So far, we like life in our 40's.  It seems to be a season with less personal striving than when we were younger, and more serving, intentionality, and a broader perspective.  It is easier to see the heart issues behind the struggles in your kids, and know pointing them to Jesus and truth is ultimately all that matters.  Life is certainly not without it's struggles, but our LORD holds our future in His hands.  He gives us breath, and life, and has provided all we need....(and a whole lot of cupcakes!)

Consider Him this Christmas.
He finds all who seek Him.

There is no better year to receive eyes that see than 20/20!


****EDIT****
I am also updating our contacts this year!
Friends & family please pm me your current info...
(especially extended family!)

Christmas 2018

It has been a while since we have written a Christmas letter, and among many other reminders this year, I was reminded how much I appreciate the written word.  As the cards came in last year in the middle of my recovery, reading your words and stories and seeing your faces was such an encouragement to me!  So, it is 4am here, and I am up before my house comes to life... decidedly hopeful to compose something that I can share with you while I savor a cuppa dark roast and some solitude in a room lit only by the tree.....

Tatum Grace (6)-We took great delight this year as Tate made the decision to follow Jesus with her life!  Since then, it has been wonderful to watch her eyes bounce off of herself and notice people around her that are lonely, hurting or need Jesus.  Tate has grown much this year... she has energy, zeal, a fierce hug, and persistent cheer.  She feels things deeply, and articulates them loud and clear.  Tate communicates and chatters constantly, often through questions, and usually with some form of physical touch involved.  On top of all that, she requires the least amount of sleep of everyone in our family!  When we marvel at all that the Lord has walked us through in her short life, it is easy to see why God gave her an extra boost of energy and personality.... despite all the curveballs, Little Tate has never lost the skip in her step or the smile in her heart!  Tatum enjoys gymnastics, dolls, coloring, swimming, and is homeschooled full time.

Samantha Nicole (10)- Sam continues to be the prayer warrior of the family.  She recently had a wonderful conversation with a woman at our church on the prayer team who wanted to meet the young lady who hands in all the prayer requests to the church each week, also noting with awe that God has answered so many of her prayer concerns this year.  What a burden and gift she has and uses- it is rare to find a young one who grasps the power of prayer like she does!  Sam is incredibly loyal and very helpful, especially in the kitchen, and has the least (voiced) amount of words of anyone in our family.  Sam is still homeschooled full time this year and enjoys attending gymnastics, volleyball, and softball.  I get the privilege of coaching her JO volleyball team this year, and we both are excited for that time together.  Since her closest friends are the furthest away, she also spends a good amount of time writing letters and on Facetime.  Samantha enjoys parades, gardening, sewing, sledding, and is a very thoughtful gift giver.

Anastassia Renae (13)-Is the newest member of our family.  Annie has been living with our family for almost 8 months now.  Annie is a gifted artist and likes to read and write.  Because of her age, and life experiences, it is important that we let her tell her own story in her own time.  We have watched God redeem much since Annie has joined our family and are grateful for all that He has done.  Annie has had a year filled with hundreds of “firsts” and she celebrates and enjoys each one.  She is loving learning how to cook, loves to go fishing, paint nails, to talk about relationships, and go tubing.... Green Lake swallowed up a pair of her swim shorts while tubing this summer!  Annie attends public school full time, and hopes to join knowledge bowl, art club, choir and also hopes to become a linguist someday.  We are so proud of all that Anastassia has accomplished in such a short time, and are so very grateful we serve a God who can make all things new.

Benjamin Michael (13)-Has grown several inches this year, and it is likely he will pass his mama up in height soon.  Ben is still our people person.  He values friendship, integrity, and the company of others.  For a teenage son, Ben does so much without being asked.  He works quickly, quietly, and does things completely as he serves our family and those around him very well.  Ben is still homeschooled part time and he attends a few classes at the public school as well.  He gave us quite a scare earlier this year requiring a double biopsy for a large growth behind his head, that, despite good test results, resulted in him no longer wrestling.  He thought he found a sport he wasn’t allergic to, but his body said otherwise.... so this year, he will be making up for time lost last year on the slopes!  Otherwise, his allergies have been managed very well.  Benjamin enjoys baseball, band, skiing (water and snow), four wheeling, air soft, and camping.  He also enjoys hanging out with the new neighbor boys when he needs a break from all the estrogen!

Aubrey Faith (16)-Had an exciting year with many changes.  She became a licensed driver and has been working at a local cafe and coffee shop.  It is wonderful to have another driver in our home!  She serves our family well with errands and rides, and I appreciate each and every one greatly.  Aub spent her summer serving at Camp Shamineau on staff as a counselor, and went on a mission trip to serve in Memphis.  These were very defining moments for her.  She also had the privilege of helping lead 4 young girls to the Lord at different times over the past few months!  Aubrey is a sophomore this year.  She attends classes part time at public school, at home, and the local community college.  She plans to take the test for CNA certification in a few weeks when she completes her course at our local community college.  Aubrey would like to become a paramedic.  With her strong drive and level of responsibility, we are confident that she will certainly accomplish whatever she sets her mind to.  Aubrey also enjoys volleyball, theater, speech, hanging out with friends, leading youth worship, and she loves to draw.

Margo- This year has been both physical healing, and emotionally demanding.  It was this time last year that I was released from my neck brace and allowed to drive again after 4 months following my stroke/dissection/blood clot/fall injury.  The healing continues to go well, although there are set backs that are noticeable at times, they do not hinder my daily life.  Managing the complexity of adding a hurting teen to the middle of our family and navigating all the foster care details and licensing was not something I would have ever signed up to do in the wake of such an injury.... but God.  He is graciously bringing us all out of survival mode and we are beginning to normalize a little.  Enough normalcy has returned that I have taken on a few speaking opportunities again recently, and even found some time to do a little writing.  I also find great joy in the young ladies in my small group, teaching bible study, and facilitating a ministry in our church that gathers women together to share life.... three life giving things I believe are worth the investment of my time, even in this full season.

Roy-This year Roy took on a new role in the Senior Leadership Team of Nova-Tech as the Manufacturing Manager.  He now oversees the manufacturing department of the company (refurbishing, machine shop, planning, assembly, and inventory) and it’s over 100 employees.   Roy continues to appreciate working for this company, and highly values the servant leadership model it follows.  He finds great satisfaction in providing for his family and serving others.  He has breakfast weekly with a group of men that have been studying together for a few years now. There hasn’t been much room to start or finish many home projects this year, but we did work on remodeling our cabin some.  I am very grateful for how he supports and serves our family.

We traveled more than we expected to this year.  We overnighted in several states-Ohio, Texas, Minnesota, Missouri, and Illinois.  We went to the Seawall and Moody Gardens in Galveston, NASA in Houston, and attended a beautiful wedding in Aubrey, TX.  We flew to Akron, OH to get Annie from her foster home.  We tent camped at Camp Shamineau for family camp.  We traveled in state to several state parks this year starting at Redwood Falls.  We took a fall trip to the North Shore to absorb some fall color before the long winter (most of our leaves froze before they could turn colors this year). We explored the falls, cliffs, and forests along Banning, Wolf Creek Falls, Cascade River, Gooseberry Falls, Tettegouche, Grand Portage, Judge Magney, Temperance River, Superior State Forest, Isle Royale, the Gunflint Trail, and we hunted Thomsonite in Cut Face Creek.  Then, we went to see the Headwaters of the Mississippi, explore Itaska, and visit grandparents just after the snow started to fall.  Lastly, we trekked down to Saint Louis for Thanksgiving (visited the Arch and Chess Museum), and got snowed in with old friends in Canton before returning home.  Our travels this year ended up being vital to bonding, healing, learning new family dynamics, and attachments.  We logged over 100 hours in the vehicle together, listening to probably a couple hundred episodes of Adventures in Oddessy, which also resulted in everyone sharing Tatum’s salvation experience with Jesus in the vehicle together.

We also saw more family than we expected to this year!  We were able to visit nearly all of the 13 households our immediate families make up.  Our visits were not as long as we would have liked them to be, but when it takes 2 whole weeks out of the year just to spend one afternoon or day in each household, you take whatever you can get!

So that is what we have been doing, but more than that, I get asked “how are we doing it” or “how is it going” more than anything.....

I don’t have a method.  I just continue to press into Jesus each day, and try to serve my family the best way I know how to:  With open hands, fixing my eyes on Jesus, with my heart exposed.... By His grace, we continue to navigate this broken world together.  We have said over and over this year with a house full of teens: “We can’t fix you, we can’t save you, we can’t change the desires of your heart, we can’t open your eyes, we can’t soften your heart, we can’t pull you out of the pit...... but we can point you to the One who can.”  The ups, the downs, the daily, the unexpected.... we have had them all this year; and likely, so have you.

Joy and sorrow dance all throughout the Bible... side by side they twist and turn,  and so it is with this life.  Helping our family navigate a season of physical, spiritual, and emotional healing surrounded by hurting family, and hurting friends, and even a hurting church has been incredibly exhausting for us all.  Our need for a Savior is real.  We keep our hands open and our hearts exposed.  My heart breaks a little more each day for what breaks God’s heart.  My eyes have “leaked” a lot this year.  I have also sat in His lap a lot this year.  But through it all, I don’t think there is any other better place to be.... because nestled in that sweet place He speaks truth over all the lies the enemy wants me to believe and over and over again He has gently whispered this year,

“I’ve got this, my child..... you need only be still.”

We can’t fix you, we can’t save you, we can’t change the desires of your heart, we can’t open your eyes, we can’t soften your heart, we can’t pull you out of the pit...... but we can point you to the One who can.

Jesus.

This is our Christmas.

This is our God.

Seek Him.

He is the reason for the season, and He is both the reason and the “how” behind all that we do.

Jerusalem Road-Poetic Story

Jerusalem Road

The journey is hard on the Jerusalem Road 
     where we are graced with stories of old 

The virgin girl with belly round

     searching for a place where room could be found

No longer on the back of a beast

     walking slowly with the one inside

     who would die for the least

As she traces her fingers along David’s city wall

     the quickening continues,

     the Child is near

She leans against the rock of stone with fear

     she rests her head,

     her breath returns

For a place to rest her head she yearns

The journey is hard along the Jerusalem Road

Her fingers continue trace the stone

     Another entrance!

     ...and still they are alone

They hope and pray for an open door

     but must continue on seeking some more

She rests again.... her song is gone

      her breath returns.... but not for long

The inn is just up ahead, Joseph says

     desperate to quicken his stride

     but instead stays behind with bride

They come at last to the place of rest

     Jacobs Inn

I’m sorry, he says,

     we have no room within

But you're welcome to check the stable out back

     so Joseph walked along the track

The path that many had walked before

     to bring their beast when they could go no more

They settle in

     the miracle begins

The beginning of the Beginning

     of our own Jerusalem Roads

Where “it is finished" is to be born

     weary and worn

No bed, no bath, no food.... with dirty feet

     the new mom and dad don’t get any sleep

The baby is born and begins to weep

     Heavens Light! the Indescribable Gift...

A world so unaware

     of the gift of glory she just bore

Two became three

     and three became four

As shepherds were told the story of Glory

     they came to behold

     what they have been told

The Christ, The Messiah, Savior, and King,

     the one of whom the angels sing

They wanted to share

     so they went and found some more that cared

No pen, no paper,

     only The Heavens declare!

So Mary used tool of which she was born

     she treasured the things upon her heart

For the things stored there,

     she never will part

She pondered the glory of the miracle she bore

     Oh! How she wished she could give Him more...

She looked into the eyes of Reedeming Grace

     and traced her finger along His sweet face

The journey was hard

     in sea of stone

     on that Jerusalem Road

But here He is at last!

     the Prince of Peace,

Hope Himself!

     born to bring deliverances

She wondered while she whispered His name so sweet

     Who is this King of Glory...

     Where is His fame?

She thought about the journey afar,

     as the wise men elsewhere studied the stars

Where yet another Road to Jerusalem begins.....

So on this Christmas....

As we journey on our own Jerusalem Roads

     each carrying our own heavy loads

Might we like Mary pause just to wonder, and ponder

     and whisper His name

In our own Christmas stories

     might we remember why He came

For deliverence, redemption, and glory

     to conquer sin in our own selfish story

On the Jerusalem Road there will be pain,

     but may it all be for Heaven’s gain!

In between all the busy

     are lives everywhere

Some with hearts of stone

     who say “They don’t care..."

They still bear His image,

     if we dare to peek....

The lonely, the hurting, the sad, and the weak,

     or the proud, and the pompous, pretentious of sort

Who have no earthly idea

     what in their hearts truly seek

What about all the bitterness we keep?

     those relationships that just make us loose sleep

     or weep....

They are broken and begging for life anew

     but apologies, overlooking offenses, reconciliation, and forgiveness are few

Will I see past the busy

     and deal with the bitter

Or will I continue to pittle

     with all the things that prove futile

Will I camp out in all that useless stuff

     Hoping that ‘it’ will finally whisper:

     “You are good enough...”

Will I continue to use my gifts trying to prove

     what Jesus Himself has already proven?

Or will I turn to the One

     who has already won....

Who gives:

     Strength for today,

     Hope for tomorrow

Guidance, mercy, and grace

Not all the souls we will see this Christmas, and past

     have within them that which will last

They will walk through our doors

     seeking more..... lest the know it.

We will share a smile and embrace...

     But will be look past their face?

To share the story

     of Divine Glory

Some hearts will be hard as the stone in David’s city

     some will feel they are all alone, and want pity

But they are not a lot unlike Mary,

     and that great wall she embraced

Looking for an opening that leads to deliverance,

     rest, an end to the pain, and life anew

They may not know it,

     but see it we do

Is there room in my heart for the mess they will bring?

     Can I see past the visible to see the real sin?

Past the lifestyle choices, the language, the dress,

     and that pretentious grin- dare I see deeper within....

There it is, the sin of all sins

     Unbelief.... the place where all our roads begin.

Or am I too worried with all of my “musts?”

     ...for sure they will interrupt all of my fuss

Dare I press past

     the busy and the bitter

Risk reputation, status,

     or be called a quitter

LORD,  grant me purpose

     give me focus

To navigate the sea of stone all around me.

This Road to Jerusalem is hard

     remind me of it’s worth

That I have been bought at a price,

     and given new birth!

LORD, remind me along the path

     not to fear humble holy places

     or the difficult faces

Because even when we are

     weary and worn

You can end pain and let deliverance

     and new life be born

Help me wait for Your timing, Your grace, and Your glory

     and give me perspective to see past my own story

Let us be salt and a light

     on this Christmas night.

To tell of your goodness, mercy, and grace

     with every single open door that we face

In this world filled with busy and bustle

     Help me not be consumed by the hustle

Instead, find me at Your feet each day

     seeking direction, promise, peace

     and surrendering my way....

For this Road to Jerusalem isn’t an easy race

But in the end... just like Mary,

     we’ll get to trace His sweet face.

Advent Season 2018

Margo Wookey

Poetic Story

Maturity-How do YOU define it?

The one.

Ever notice the one at the ball game, the one who forgot it was a game and is acting as though the world has stopped spinning because the ref made a poor call?  How about the one at the bar, the one who has aged in years, but yet is whining like a toddler?  How about the one who has put so much stock in learning, the one with a rich mind but empty soul?  How about the one who gets angry and takes it out on anyone or anything in sight?  Or, maybe the one who can't put the potato chips down each time life gets hard.

The one.  The one everyone seems to notice.  Immaturity does that.  It magnifies our weaknesses.

We all start here.  We've all cried as babies, thrown tantrums, felt the disappointments of life for the first time.  It looks alright on a baby, but it does not look good on an adult who is fully capable of maturing.

Maturity.
How do you define it? 

We all have seen the difference between those who simply grow older and those who choose to grow up.  We can mature in many, many ways.... physically, mentally, emotionally, even spiritually.

To me, maturity is simple.

It is learning to do with what we feel.

When you choose to follow Christ, maturity takes on a whole new meaning.  Because you are committing not only to a lifetime of learning, but maturing as well.  And the scales change.  What the world (or culture) accepts as mature, Christ may not.

Don't get me wrong, Christ fully accepts us right where we are, just as we are..... but He also knows growing in His likeness is in the best interest of anyone who is able, and all those surrounding them.

This addresses the most common salvation defense question I've encountered.  If God will forgive my everything, then why not just keep "living it up" and then "get right with God" just before I die?  Well friend, we've talked about many reasons for that question, but today I'll remind you of just one.

His ways aren't just perfect for heaven.  They are perfect for earth, too.  Doing life His way brings heaven to earth every single day.  Who really wouldn't want a little more of heaven here on earth?  Only pure evil.  The rest of us should want to welcome it with open arms.  We all have the chance to do so......

We all can turn the other cheek when we are wronged.
We all can choose to love unconditionally.
We all can be the bigger in our relationship strife.
We all can extend grace and mercy to those undeserving.
We all can see the hurt of another, even if we are hurting too.
We all can die to our own reputations for His sake.
We all can take the path of integrity no matter the cost.

We all can bring a little more heaven to earth each day.


That's how we all can become the one who gives grace to human refs, even after a bad call.  Or become the one to face life's problems rather than drink until we don't feel.  Or the one who is rich in both mind and soul.  Or the one who doesn't give full vent to our anger.  Or the one no longer chooses to soothe ourselves with food.

Because, let's face it!  No matter the struggle.... 30, 40, 50, 60 year old tantrums just aren't pretty!



So where are you struggling to follow Christ?

Where is He stretching you to learn how to do with what you feel?

Where are you being tempted to follow the world instead of Christ?

I know where mine is right now, and following Him there this week was not easy, nor without struggle.  But, every single struggle presents an opportunity for a victory in Him.... and every single victory in Him brings a little more heaven to this earth and to those all around me.  And He delights.

Jesus Christ.  The only One who can transform and earthly weaknesses into a heavenly touch.  There is none like Him.

Truth, Grace, & Sexual Sin

Wow.

I'm completely overwhelmed by the amount of readers that touched my last post on gender.  I'm humbled by your honesty, and quite frankly, grateful that you all didn't leave me hanging on such a hard topic to touch with written words.  A new season is nearing, and I am pressing on to finish the work of this season.....  Work I'd still rather do face to face instead of screen to screen. 

We are all equal at the foot of the cross.  This is the place I write you from again today.  Seeing my own sin, my own struggles, and trusting that in my own weakness, He is strong.

Our sin affects our world.

It destroys.
It separates.
It is self seeking.
It has consequences.
It hurts those around us.
It is terrible for our soul.

Most of us have struggled with being angry at some point in our lives.

Be it full blown rage or just mild irritation, we've succumb to the temptation that when we are upset by something we should take our anger out on another, or at the very least we've wallpapered our minds in angry thoughts and schemes.  Truth is, often times as we give way to sin in that moment, we feel good.  It is a release.  Whatever was out of our control in our life we, if only for a brief moment, felt a little more in control.  But it is fleeting, temporary.  Only God is in control, we are not. 

Truth is anger doesn't make us any more in control of our own little worlds. 

It is an illusion.  It is sin.  It destroys, separates, is self seeking, has consequences, hurts those around us, and is terrible for our soul.  It is sin.  And the world is a worse place because of it.  Not because I said so, but because God said so.  Anger, hate, bullying... they are all a perversion of the passion God designed in us to use to worship Him.

We all can agree on that.  It's wrong.  It's sin.
A world without anger, hate, and bullying would be better.

But often we struggle to see other sins the same way.

Like casual sex.
Like pornography.
Like homosexuality.


Most of the world is struggling with a sexual sin of some kind today. 

Casual sex, pornography, homosexuality, and lusts of all kinds no longer need to be sought out, they are a huge part of today's world.  Be it a full blown lifestyle or just passing thoughts, we've bit into the temptation and engaged in sexual sin with another, or at the very least wallpapered our minds with it.  And, just like anger, when we give way to lustful sin in the moment, we feel good.  It is a release.  Whatever void for love and acceptance we had, if only for a brief moment, felt a little fuller.  But it is fleeting, temporary.  Only God can fully fill that love void, another person cannot. 

Truth is that twisted sexuality doesn't make us any more loved or more accepted. 

It is an illusion.  It is sin.  It destroys, separates, is self seeking, has consequences, hurts those around us, and is terrible for our soul.  Sin....  and just like anger, the world is a worse place because of it.  Not because I said so, but because God said so.  Homosexuality, pornography, casual sex, lust are all a perversion of the beautiful sexuality God designed in us.

Just like anger, hate, bullying.....yet,
Yet, unlike anger we cannot all agree on one thing:
That a world without homosexuality, lust, casual sex, and pornography could actually be better.

Maybe this is you. 
Chances are good it is many of us. 
We live in a broken world.


We all know that homosexuality is a sin.
We all know that pornography is a sin.
We all know that casual sex is a sin.
We all know that _______ is a sin.

But not very many of us know what to do with that.


 
Beautiful one desiring to follow Jesus and struggling with sexual sin.....
I ask you to think hard on this.... The God of the universe has written His word not just to us, but for us.  For our good, and for His glory.  Could it be possible that the very God who created you might actually know what is best for you?  Could it be possible that He took the time to leave us with far more than just a list of do's and don'ts... that he left us with practical timeless directions on how to navigate this broken world best, as full and whole as possible?  Could it be possible God knows the why and why not's that we were never meant to understand..... that Almighty God might actually know exactly what lies ahead on those paths of sexual sin and how they will destroy us, and out of perfect love He's trying to protect us when He tells us about sin?

Young ones navigating this sexually broken world....
You are not gay because of something that has happened to you.  You are not a pervert if pornography has it's grasp on you.  You are not stuck in a lifetime of casual sex because of your past, including yesterday.  You are not gay if something you have seen on a screen caused a response that you did not expect.  You ARE a young one navigating a sexually broken world who may need help, healing, or accountability.  Do NOT let that define you.  I'm here if you need to talk.

Parents with struggling children, and children with struggling parents.......
When you talk about this, above all else, try to remember that more than likely no one on this earth wants what is best for you more that these people, even when they have a hard time showing it.  Err on the side of grace, but never ever abandon the truth.  You have my prayers today.

Church, dear church......
Could we be the place and the people who could possibly say.... It's okay that you struggle, really it is.  I, myself, after all I am not choosing a lifestyle of anger, but one of grace and mercy.  Yet, when the temptation to become angry becomes a reality, you are who I turn to for prayer, accountability, and hope.  Might we do the same when the temptation of pornography, homosexuality, casual sex, becomes real in the life of one of us desiring to follow Jesus too?  Are you ever temped in the things you put off to follow Jesus?  I know I am.  How would sexual sin be any different?


Above all else, there is one thing I am confident of......  His ABSOLUTE truth is never far from His ABSOLUTE grace.  He never intended one to leave the other.  We need truth.  We need grace.  Only in Jesus do we find both.

I Am a Girl Living in a Transgender World....

When you were born, someone was there.  At the very least your mother, perhaps your father or other family, and likely a doctor, nurse, or midwife.  Whether your sex was known in advance or not, something happened within the first few moments of your life.... it began with visual confirmation, and then a spoken proclamation.

It's a boy!
It's a girl!

Most likely before you ever heard your name, you heard the proclamation of your very being.  Your gender.  Your very being spoken over you, as you breathed your first breaths.


I recently received a baby shower invitation for a new mom whom I love.

It had a notation in the corner that stated it was not a gender neutral shower.  This caught my attention why she added it, as the invitation itself obviously was gender specific.  When I inquired with my young mama friend, and she opened my eyes to the increasing trend her amongst her friends baby showers.

Gender neutral showers.....

In my day this meant you didn't know if it was a boy or a girl... it meant yellow.
Today this means that you may feel free to being either a boy or a girl gift.... it means blue and pink.
It doesn't stop at showers and stuff.
Gender neutral child rearing is also quickly on the rise.

Despite the gender of the child, he or she may choose to wear, or be in some cases, whatever gender he or she desires to be that day or moment.  Pronouns and even names are adjusted as the child requests.  Ultimately, the child chooses his/her gender identity.  True sex is often concealed from everyone except the parents.... and God.  I take great comfort in the latter, despite our parental mess ups-God always knows. 

(Critics, please know my focus is not on boys playing with dolls, or girls pushing trucks... my kids play with both, so refrain from negative or abusive posts!)

In fact, as a child I grew up as the tomboy of our family. 

I was the middle of 5 daughters who all were blessed with talents and skills that put my feminine side to shame.  Their musical talents, crafting skill, curvy handwriting, shapely bodies, gracefulness and loveliness, and shopping abilities seemed to intensify any insecurities I had about having been born a female.  Oh, and I rocked dress wearing something fierce..........
 

I was an awkward boy shaped girl who seldom used a mirror, found her home in the wood shop, or on the ball court, and hung out in pick up trucks with burping, cussing, tobacco chewing shmucks.... I didn't use a fitting room until my mid 20's, and I thought a good haircut was pulling my own hair into a pony tail and slicing a scissor across the uneven tips.  I blew up the first motorcycle I rode, and I wore a Pennzoil ballcap to cover up the mess my "melon bucket" made of my hair as I drove my snowmobile to the courses I took with mostly guys at the tech college.  I didn't receive or extend grace to hardly anyone, and I certainly wasn't loving.... let alone lovely.

I understand what it is like to not easily fit into the girl mold.
I understand what it is like to loathe drama and emotion.
I understand what it is like to totally resent submission.
I understand what it is like to have mostly guy friends.
I understand what it is like to see woman as weak.
I understand what it is like to think being a boy was more fun.
I understand what it is like to wish I was a guy.


Fortunately a guy came along who saw something good in me and made me his wife.  A few years later I left my mostly male career to begin staying at home as a mother.

Now with an even more awkward shape, and an even slimmer wardrobe because of it, I began to enter a mostly female world.  That of the perpetually-at-work-at-home-mom..... full of postpartum emotion.  I started attending groups with all women, and having play dates with other moms, and the insecurities I has stuffed away as a young child soared to all new heights.  I was sure to never measure up.  I was good at my career in the mechanical world, and I could navigate the male world with ease, confidence, and comfort..... but now I found myself mostly paralyzed by fear, discomfort, and insecurity only enhanced by the detail searching eyes of all the other women who were so comfortable around one another, and so "good" at being women.  And on top of that, I was now mom to the most tender hearted, delicate, and compassionate little girls I have ever known..... insecurity overload.

I began to journey with God to find some Truth that could set my captive insecure heart free.  I was a prisoner under my own skin.  It was when I realized what I didn't understand that I began to let His Truth fill in the gaps that I began to feel more comfortable in my own skin.

I didn't understand that I could be fully myself and be fully woman too.
I didn't understand that there was a plan for my life as a woman from the beginning of time.
I didn't understand that I was doubting God's gender for me, I was doubting His perfect plan.
I didn't understand the protection and beauty of mutual submission.
I didn't understand that our very gender is an expression of God himself.
I didn't understand that I became my own god when I thought I knew better.
I didn't understand that I was normal much less beautiful.

Hitting home with any of you???  It's okay if you struggle with any of these things..... really, it is.  I'd love to know more about your story, I'd love to pray for you.

What gender do you call yourself?  Is it the same as the very first thing that breathed over you?  The same as what the God of the universe spoke over you before your own parents and grandparent had even met?  Why or why not? 

The world is an increasingly confusing place for children and young adults.

Facebook now has over 50 different "genders" that we can select for our online profiles.  This reveals how many more people today are struggling with the very real temptation to create their own identity instead of embrace their God given one.  In the beginning.... He created them male and female.  Today, we are still male and female.  God has known your gender since the beginning of time, despite what your profile says.  It was spoken over you before anything else, both on earth and in heaven.  In the still of the night you know this to be True, your body is a part of His story and design, and He never makes mistakes.  Your scars may have shaped you, but they can never define you.

The world now knows the story of beautiful Ryland.  Her parents choose to share her embryonic story with the world online.  A story of a girl who was much like me, and you can believe that it pulled my heartstrings.  At age five, my kids thought they were rodeo clowns, ninjas, and batman.,.. my brother took on the identity of ninja turtle characters at this age.  But they were all still boys and girls at the end of the day.  Here's the thing, Ryland..... no one ever told me that because I felt more like a boy, that that made me a boy.  Thankgoodness.

Because I am not.

I am a girl living in a broken transgender world.
Full of people who think they know better for themselves than Almighty God.
I know, because I was one.

Until the day I decided to follow Jesus in this area of my life, and decided to trust and embrace Truth over my own insecurities.

I began to realize that God made me a torque loving, ballcap wearing, accelerator pressing, dirt loving, comfy clothes wearing, simple hair doing, capital letter writing, blueprint making, mechanical invention contemplating, complexly beautiful unique girl.  And with His help, I have learned how to be a woman who has some traditionally feminine characteristics too.... hospitality, teaching, loving others, gardening, graciousness, giving, mentoring, cooking, organization, and even compassion are now also, only by His grace, a huge part of who I am. 

He has shown me that the less I try to be someone else, and the more I embrace the design He has for my life alone, the better I am at being a what He created me to be..... 

A woman...... created for His glory, and my own good.