Hope for The Fatherless Generation

Father's Day. 

I've already lost some of you. 
Actually, I've already lost most of you. 
The Fatherless Generation....... most of us.


STAY WITH ME.

Which means more Father's Day cards will be delivered by mail than by hand, or not at all.
Which means dads who didn't even know they were dads until it was too late will grieve.
Which means more children and fathers will be remembered rather than embraced this day.
Which means a great deal for the America we live in today.

STAY WITH ME.

I've learned a lot watching my husband father our children.

I've learned that men are created with an innate need to provide well for their families.
I've learned that it is God's plan for fathers to protect their children.
I've learned that our home runs best when I let my husband lead our family.
I've learned that a father's sense of responsibility and work ethic is noted by his children.
I've learned that dads need respect as much as moms need love.
I've learned that dads impact children with a greater sense of authority, courage, and integrity.
I've learned husbands are designed to depict Christ to the world is so many ways.

While I'm thankful and grateful for a husband who has been this model for our children, I had to learn to let go of the pain I was carrying from my own abandonment as a child in order to appreciate it.

So, I can relate to what some of you are thinking:

But my dad didn't......
But I never was given the chance to.....
If only she would have let me.....
If only he could have....
Boy, do I fall short....

You know by now, I'm not leaving you on a heavy note without hope.

SO STAY WITH ME.

Truth is..... it's still can be hard for me, too.

Which is the only reason I feel I can even come close to touching this.
I've been thinking about this for several years now.
And I'm watching it unfold before me.

The Fatherless Generation.

A generation largely....
Void of provision.
Void of protection.
Void of leadership.
Void of responsibility.
Void of work ethic.
Void of respect.
Void of authority.
Void of courage.
Void of integrity.
Void of Christ.

America.

Humbling, isn't it.
The Fatherless Generation.

This picture made me really think.
It made me think about what I made my own absent father look like.
What would your earthly father look like?

Loving and caring,
generous and selfless,
serving and strong,
providing and integral,
present and courageous,

or perhaps....

Absent or distant,
selfish or weak,
lazy or irresponsible,
disengaged or unconcerned,
lying or cheating,
harsh or angry.

There is also one more thing I have learned.
Often, our picture of our earthly father resembles our picture of our Heavenly Father too.

You see, that is where I went wrong.

I began to sketch out my own God out of my own circumstances. 
Not intentionally, but indirectly it happened over time. 
I sketched out a God that did not reflect my Heavenly Father at all.
And it is happening in homes all across America today.

Thankfully, I couldn't have been more wrong.

While my earthly father remained distant and removed,
I had a Heavenly Father who never, ever left my side. 
While my earthly father was disengaged and unconcerned,
I had a Heavenly Father who knew and cared about every single detail of my life.

Kids can live without dads.
Dads can live without kids.
But an entire nation with a wrong impression of who God is.... will tear itself apart.
We are watching it happen.
It is the one thing regardless of political party, religion, or race we can agree on these days.
Our nation is in need of transformation.

I can't help to feel that the crisis of integrity, leadership, and even economics that we find ourselves in doesn't somehow relate to the fact that millions of men either stepped away from or were denied the ability to do the very things they were designed to do:  provide, protect, lead, instill a sense of responsibility and work ethic, be respected, teach the virtues of authority, courage, integrity..... we're missing our image bearers of Christ, and are afraid of (or avoiding meeting) a God that is really not at all Who we've drawn Him up to be.

Sure, there are many other things that have played their part.  But really, how can the vast void of all of this, and the creation of so many unapproachable or vacant gods have not affected us.

I know guys struggle with what to do when they feel like a failure.
But, I also know that they are also designed with an desire to want to fix things.
Like fixing most things, we need to start with the only thing we can change... ourselves.

I don't know your story, but I know God can redeem all brokenness.
Your mess is not to big for Him, if you take it to Him.
Jesus is in the business of transforming lives, and we need transformation.
Only He can take things intended for evil, and turning it into something good.
No matter how you've drawn Him up, God wants to reveal the Truth of who He is.
Let Him begin to redeem your story.
Seize and prioritize opportunities to engage as a father.
Learn about what God wants a father to do and be, and become that.
There are always ways to tell your children you love them, you'll find a way if your looking.

(A special note to all the fathers of aborted children.  Abortion counsel is not just for women.  Men, many times the void of all that you were intended to be grows and intensifies with time.  Don't ignore it.  There are a rising number of both young and older men now seeking help to heal.  Help is available, seek it out.  If you had no say, or found out after the abortion.... my heart goes out to you.  Know that I have paused to pray for you all to find the courage to find someone that you can trust with your story.  Our nation needs you to heal, too.  You make up a big part of us.)

We are at the place in history, where every man who follows Christ could have dozens fatherless children and several fathers that he is sharing Truth with... and still there would be more.  But God's plan for discipleship only starts with one.  Who is that in your life?  Go find them, they seldom are brought to you.  Who will look back one day and thank you for being there for them?

Biological fathers taking every chance to be present and engaged.....  well done.
Fathers raising children that mothers have walked away from.... well done.
Fathers raising children that do not share your blood.....  well done.
Fathers walking alongside other fathers in Truth..... well done.
Fathers speaking into lives of the fatherless...  well done.
Fathers deciding to turn it around..... well done.
You are helping heal this nation.
One life at a time.

It is so much deeper than just your home, guys.
Fathers, we need you..... all of you, desperately.
Reconcile with as many family members as you can.
Step up to be what you were created to be.
Teach them what God designed you to do best.

Provide, protect, lead, display responsibility and good work ethic, be worthy of respect, teach the virtues of authority, courage, integrity..... be an image bearer of Christ to our needy world.

There a billions of stories out there yet to be told.
Each one is as unique as each man is. 
Share yours with someone.
Listen to someone else's.
Begin to heal a nation.
In your home.

20 Things I Wish I Would Have Known When I Graduated....

I'm about to do something I never expected do..... list blog.   (*gasp*) 
Many of you seem to be incredibly fond (and mildly addicted) to them.
I confess (*sigh*) that I really am not.
However, it seemed like the best fit for this post.

By now most graduation ceremonies and celebrations are now in the history books for the year... the excitement and checklists lists have settled down, silly square hats worn and thrown, cards are opened, hugs, flowers and congratulations have been exchanged among the loved ones.... plans both of the known and unknown shared about future hopes and dreams.

And now sit many graduates are with temporarily heavier wallets and likely daily contemplations of what to do with the short amount of time left to "live it up" before leaving for school, or beginning military training..... or before all other friends all leave town if you are staying local.

This is the first time in a decade that I haven't been surrounded by conversations with young adults entering into, exiting out of, or in the middle of this defining season of life.  I love and miss those talks.  Although we can't speak face to face, I extend my congratulations to you, and hope this little list blog may encourage you find or follow Christ along your journey.

20 Things I wish I would have known when I graduated:


You are in the most defining season of your life.  So many decisions are made in early adulthood that will forever affect your life.  Beyond just choosing a career or major.  It is the season where most people meet their future spouse, where many lifelong habits or addictions are often formed, and for many their faith becomes either real, found, or abandoned.

Your choices will now have lifelong consequences now.  Sex, alcohol, and drugs..... they have the power to create, change, or end life.  Before now, you most likely had to seek this out in secret... now, they will be seeking you out regularly in public.  The consequences of your choices in these areas may, might, perhaps could, will affect your future spouse and your children.

Sin affects those around you.  In a world consumed with self, do not forget that your wrong choices never only affect you.

Don't dread the drudgery, expect it.  No one lands their ideal career job right off the bat, expect to start somewhere less than your perfect ideal.  God is far more interested in building your character through the mundane daily things that you'll be tempted to otherwise put off.  Do them.

Work hard.  Toward your grades, in your jobs, in boot camp, wherever you end up.  The Lord says that when we are faithful with a little He gives us more.  Learn to be faithful with a little.

Debate is good, but attack is bad.  God intended us to learn from one another, be open to that-- but don't be so set on being right that you would attack the character of another person.

Choose a major or a job.  Do it.  Sure it's hard to, but find something to aspire to.  It's okay that you are not 100% sure of it, select something anyway..... I have adults every day on my newsfeed that are still taking quizzes to tell them all about who they are and what they should be.  It is a lot to be confident in as a young adult. That's okay, but pick something..... it's time.

Quit thinking God is only on one path, and you may miss it.  He is the God that holds the whole universe in order.... I'm quite certain He frequents both Yale and Harvard.  = ) Be far more concerned that on one path He there is wanting to pour out His favor and blessing (as a result of your choices and obedience), and that He is on the other path as well--arms wide open and willing to redeem any mess you've gotten into.  He isn't on one path and not the other.  It only matters that you seek Him on whichever path your on.

Don't be afraid of the hard times.  You will face trials of many kinds, some will be your fault and some won't.  All are intended to grow you in character and maturity.  Quit hoping for a fair world.  It never has been, and never will be.  Learn to make the best of the hard times, they will come.

God is not an instant God.  We live in an instant world, we desire results immediately... God is not that way.  Don't feel like He's less present, less caring, or less capable because you aren't seeing Him work in your timeframe. 

Find a church.  Believer or not, find a church to connect with... and invite someone to go with you.  For me as an unbeliever then, this was only a few times a year for a college student meal.  I'm glad I went.  Volunteer.  Drink free coffee.  Ponder God.  Awaken your faith as your own.  Go.

Things will never be the same.  It's true.... but don't fear it.  I've never met an adult who ever wished they were back in the drama of high school.

Call your parents.  More often than you think you should.  Do it.  Keep saying I love you.  You are almost to the point in life where you'll realize that they were right about far more than you ever imagined.

Stop the serial dating.  Most of you did this through high school.  Bouncing from one relationship to the next.  Stop it.  Be single for a while.  Be picky about who you want to date.  Girls, let him chase you for a while.... there is a good chance he may be your future spouse or in the way of your future spouse.... either way, you won't regret him learning how to pursue you.  Guys-quit the hookups, they mess with the rest of your life.

Seize opportunities to volunteer.  As often as they come.  Change your little part of this big world.

Focus on one thing at a time.  Give each experience your full attention.

Put your phone down and talk to people.  Your likely addicted to online browsing or texting to pass time.  Be intentional about putting the screens away.  Talk to someone around you instead, look into their eyes. As you do and your day will be far better.  Laugh.  Often.  Especially during finals.

And lastly, but most importantly my top three.... 

Run TO God with your pain, not AWAY from Him.  Heartache, trial, failure, defeat, depression, loneliness, regret...... turn to Him in all of it.  He already knows about it anyway--let him be your comfort.

Ask someone you respect to be your mentor.  Seek them out.  Tell them you'd like to trust their confidence and lean on their advice from time to time.  Stay in touch with them.

Turn around.  It doesn't matter how far you've turned away, when you decide to turn around, Jesus meets you right there.  But only you can choose to turn yourself around.  Do it, don't wait.



Well there you have it.  Many of you already know the love I hold in my heart for college students and young adults.  It is a privilege to be able to speak into your lives.  Embrace the season that you are in.  It is special.  You are about to learn more about yourself than you ever cared to know.  You are not a child anymore..... own your faults, work on your weaknesses, and cultivate your strengths.  Find Jesus.  Follow Him, and the rest will fall into place.




Side note....

Parents, know I am praying for you.  Parenting adult children is not easy, but stay engaged.  Open your hands, but trust your gut.  Recently Stormie Omartin has been posting some great encouragement on her FB page from her book The Power of Praying for Adult Children.  Looks to be a great resource.  As I see her posts, I pray for you as parents.  May be worth "liking" her on FB.

Daring to push past "I'm sorry" when you've really blown it with your kids.....

Alright, I promised here that we'd talk about the parenting side of it....... yup, spoken lies.  Those things people have said about you that somehow work their way into the fabric of your identity, even though they are completely false.  So, today, let's think specifically on wounding words from a parenting perspective..... this is huge and sneaks into almost every family when things are tense.

What do you tend to do when life seems overwhelming or difficult?  What kind of thoughts run through your mind?  How do you react when your child is angry or defiant?  Do you tend to get angry and yell, or do you freeze and say nothing and brood in your mind, or become frightened and give in, or escape and ignore?  Specifically, what kinds of words come naturally to your tongue? 

You will never amount to anything!
You always make such a mess of things!
You're such a moron!
Knock it off.... stop it!
You should know better than that!
Man, you can't do anything right!
Leave me alone-you always give me such a headache.
Your absolutely worthless.
That's it- I don't want to talk about it again!
You never learn, do you?
You can't wear that!
If I want anything done right around here, I have to do it myself.
That'll never work!
You know what I think, so don't even ask!
There, you've done it again!
Stop it!  I have a splitting headache.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!
You never listen!

So many parental reactions begin with lines like these.
And typically, they are only the beginning of many hurtful words said in anger.
Which one made you twinge with guilt or feel uneasy as you read it?
Which one might your kids say is your go-to reaction line?
Reread the list and figure it out..... listen for them.
Identifying it may just may help you hit the pause button the next time things become tense.

Either way, more than likely we waver on one extreme or the other when parenting gets tough.  And more than likely, the majority of our natural reactions were shaped long before our parenting journey ever began.  In fact, I recently read that our daily working adult vocabularies are almost completely formed by age two. 

Wow.  Age two.
Seems hopeless then right?

Not really......

Every single one of us has an earthly lineage. 

At one point, we were all dependent upon someone to show us how to do life.  Even if they didn't recognize or step up to the responsibility, we still were learning.  We learned how to eat, speak, act, and react.  Earthly lineages all have one thing in common:  Regardless of how perfect someone else's seems, they are all laced with sin. 

Every.  single.  one.  of.  us.

None of us came from a perfect home.
None of us live in one today.
We are all equal sinners at the foot of the cross.

We all feel it.
We have our moments.
Our reactions are sinful.
Some of us spew.
Some of us brood.
Some of us ignore.
But we all are guilty.

And, we all need encouragement in HUGE doses.  Especially when we screw up, or are trying to learn something new. 

But somehow, it seems this is often the time the enemy of my soul sends these phrases on a journey from the back of my memory to the tip of my tongue at lighting fast speed.  These often are the moments in which I'm trying to do life on my own strength, and just wanting things to go my way.  And they seldom do.  I know this.  Yet the tone of my voice, spewed reactive words, and an unforgiving and unapproachable disposition show in these moments I'm still desperately reaching for the one thing that is unreachable.......... control.

Control.
And it's out of reach every single time.
Because it was never intended to be within my grasp.
Yet, I reach for it.
You reach for it.

We throw those silent expectations of ourselves as parents right out the window.... to protect them from anything that would hurt them, to give them what was best, maybe perhaps the life that we never had, we vowed we would never  do this or that, we promised to always be there for them, that they could tell us anything, that we would never hurt them.

Yet somehow in one moment....
Over something that doesn't even matter at all.......
The little sinner in them ignites the big sinner in us......
And we feel anger toward the very little things that we hold so dear......
And out of nowhere that same cozy intentional protective parent
Blows, or broods, or stews, or ignores and becomes:
A lie planter....
A spirit breaker....
A dream crusher.....
....and when they cool off, we all know it.


Didn't know we were signing up for this, did we?
Broken our childish naïve "I will never do that..." vows.
Parenting is incredibly hard.

So before we fall into mommy guilt overload, let's just really be honest and ask ourselves.... how's it really working?  What's a parent to do?

I mean, sure I can get my way.
Sin and all.
But at the end of the day, it's still evil.
And evil always brings destruction and death.
Eventually.

So what do you do in moments like these? 
Do you wear the "parent badge" and justify your sin? 
Do you pray and ask forgiveness? 
Do you apologize, and then just repeat again later?

I'm no expert.  But look around.  Our world is busy.  Rushed.  Hurried.  Stressed Out. 

Angry parents are no longer the abnormal, it is now abnormal to see a parent not stressed out.  In fact if they are not stressed out, they are likely checked out.  Parents are reactive today, not proactive....   And the more reactive we are, the more lies the enemy taunts us to feed our children..... which means our kids are feasting on them.  One by one, parental insults and wounds that slowly mound up to insecurities that will affect their daily adult lives.  Sure, some of them seem harmless to say.... but think about how harmless they feel.

And so many of us are spoon feeding our kids tiny little lies daily.

So how do we replace these lies with truth?

You know I am no licensed expert.
I have no fancy degrees on the wall.
In fact quite the opposite.

However, in Christ....
I can share with you how I follow Jesus in moments like these.
I can share with you how I bring the gospel, the good news, to my kids after I've blown it.
I can share with you that our kids need it just as much as we do.
I can share with you how I tap into my spiritual lineage to overcome the sin patterns of my earthly lineage.
I can share with you that it is working to redeem the lies I've feed my own kids as a parent.

Redemption is beautiful.

Okay, story time:

A couple years ago as I was pondering what my role as a parent looked like to "spiritually train" my children, when God placed something very simple on my heart.  You bring the good news to them.... over and over and over.  At first, I thought that this was as simple as making sure they understood what Jesus did for them..... after all, that is the good news--the gospel.  Then I went and made it all difficult and unrealistic thoughts of family devotions (You know-- the thing that young dad is "suppose" to know how to structure and lead even though young mom has every detailed idea of what it's "suppose" to look like.... and yes-your young family is "supposedly" failing miserably it even though no one has actually said it..... yup, those) and anyway... insecurity hit big time.  The more I thought about it, the more intimidated I got.

Been there?
There's hope.

Sometime later on, after I'd spoken harshly to one of the kids, I found myself on my knees before God asking first for His forgiveness, and taking some time to cool down before going to apologize.  That was my messy routine:  Blow up-- cool down-- pray up-- apologize-- repeat.... (Can anyone relate?)  I prayed a simple prayer that I'd prayed many times, but this time it changed my parenting forever.  Lord, help me to go make this right.  His answer caught my attention.... YOU can't.

YOU can't....

     What do you mean I can't?

YOU can't, but I can.

     I know you can, Lord. 

God wasn't saying I shouldn't apologize.
He wasn't saying what I had done was unforgivable.
He wasn't saying I should throw in the towel and give up.
He wasn't saying reconciliation was hopeless.
That's not the character of God.

I humbled myself, yet again, and went and found the child I had crushed and began to apologize...
It started as my typical parenting apology.....

I'm sorry I became angry and spoke harshly to you. 

      It's ok.... (face disagreeing.)

I know how I spoke to you was wrong, mommies make mistakes too.

      I know..... (shared comfort in knowing we both blew it.)

I've asked Jesus to forgive me, can you forgive me too? 

      Yes.  (Softening a little....)

So, what can we do different so this doesn't happen again next time?

       Well, I can try to.....  

That's when it began to hit me deeper..... YOU can't.  My child extended forgiveness and began to rewalk the situation, but my mind began to race.  That feeling when you know change is upon you... but you can't define exactly how just yet.  God at work.  It began to hit me that on our own strength we can do nothing to guarantee that sin won't affect us "next time."  Sure, it's important to rewalk situations with children to help them learn what they can change in their choices.... but God was showing me what I was missing. 

I was relying on my own words.
I had been operating on my own strength.
I was hoping I could choose better next time.
I was tapping into the blood of Christ for forgiveness.....
BUT, I had never tapped into the truth to breathe life into the wounding words I'd spoke.

You bring the good news to them.... over and over and over.

YOU can't.... but I can.

       I know you can, Lord.

       Show me how. 

In Christ, we have no reason to fear the hard times..... in parenting, in marriage, or in life.  I realize that it is in the hard times that more faith is required, and more teachable moments appear.  We teach our children far more about what really matters in life during difficult days than during the compliant days.  Because in these days they see our dependency on God, they see our strength is not enough, they see we can't do it on our own..... and they realize their own need for The Lord.

This is what I was missing in the aftermath of my "mama has really blown it" moments.....

Truth.
The gospel.
The good news.
Life giving words.

I didn't get it then, but I am beginning to get it now. 
You see, this is more than a story about the God-man dying on a cross to pay for sin. 
It's a story that includes you and me..... and all of our kids.
A promise that from the beginning of time there has been plan and a purpose for our lives.
It is the ultimate triumph over evil with perfect good.
A guarantee that all that the enemy wanted to use for bad, God can use for good.
I know no other man that can promise and deliver such things.

Life giving words.
The good news.
The gospel.
Truth.

When we become a new creation in Christ, we also acquire a spiritual lineage.

So in Christ, we have a spiritual lineage as well as an earthly lineage.  Which means..... I can choose to walk in my earthly lineage full of reactions and sin.  Or...... I can tap into my spiritual lineage in Christ and breathe life into the destruction.

So what does this look like for us?

After I get upset and say things I really don't mean that are hurtful....

I don't stop at I'm sorry.
I don't stop after rewalking.
I don't stop after asking forgiveness.
It's not over when I've cooled down.
It's not over when I've prayed....

It's not over until I bring the good news to them.

I share the incredible story that before time even began, that there was a plan for their little life....
And it is written by the God that created the whole world....
The giver of every heartbeat, and controller of all the heavens and waters.....
And there is a purpose here that only they can fulfill......
Their own special part of a divine plan to help grow His kingdom...
A kingdom where we cannot cause one another hurt or pain....
Like the pain I just caused you.
Which is why God sent His Son, Jesus for us....
Because no matter how hard we try....
We blow it.
We make mistakes.
We say things that hurt others.
Even some times to those who matter most to us.
And God knows, and understands, and willingly forgives us if we ask.
Isn't that good news?
I've asked Him to forgive me, can you?
You want to know more great news?
And then I tell them a few of my favorites off of here...... such as:
You are wonderfully made in the very image of God.....
His plans for you have a hope and future....
I'm sorry I said something that would make you doubt any of that.
Your an incredible kid, and God trusted me with the incredible task of raising you...
And I'm going to mess up a million times....
But you know what else?????
Then I'm gonna bring you good news.... a million and one.


My words may heal... or wound.
My prayer may be powerful.... or ineffective.
My choices may help.... or hurt.
But Jesus Christ always bring healing, help, power, and life.


So the real question is: 

What do we have to loose by bringing the good news to our kids when we've blown it as a parent?  

Nothing.  It is all gain.  Yet, we often try to bring them the good news at the "good" times in an idealistic "family devotion" kind of way.  Yet, Jesus brought the good news to the hurting, and met them right where they were at in the middle of their pain and suffering. 

Following Jesus isn't conditional.
He wants us in the trenches for Him.
Even (and especially) the ones we've dug ourselves. 
Dare to push past and earthly I'm sorry.
And reach for the one thing that is always reachable....
Good news.

You bring the good news to them.... over and over and over.

YOU can't.... but I can.

       I know you can, Lord.

       Show me how. 

I believe I have taught more about Christ to my children in the moments that go terribly wrong, than the moments that seem smooth.  Every time I blow it I have an opportunity to bring the gospel to them.  When their little lives seem so hard, and when my words have wounded them to doubt who they really are.... He gives me the incredible privilege of bringing them good news and breathing life back into their broken little spirits..... by bringing the good news to them. 

And it's working.
It holds my marriage together.
It holds my little family together.
It points them to the One who can fix what I can't.
It is showing my kids following Christ is far more than being obedient.
It assures us all of who we are in His eyes, so we treat one another better.
It is the ultimate reminder that control cannot be grasped by anyone but God.
It stops the eye rolling of children seeing right through otherwise false parental promises.

And best of all, it kicks unrealistic mommy guilt right back into the pit where it belongs.

Silent Signs full of Spoken Lies

You know the videos. 

Those silent ones where people bring a powerful message or story to life by flipping several cards or signs for their audience to read.  Hearts exposed.  Pain revealed.  Many times sharing the hurtful things that people have said or done.  Other times sharing their own thoughts or secrets that have never broken past their own skin.  Some of them inspiring and hopeful, others desperate cries to escape the entrapment within their own skin.  All are stories Christ cares deeply about. 

Ever feel like your silently carrying one of those signs?

Words penned on it that someone else has spoken about you.  Words you wondered if they were true.  Spoken by another. Sometimes we speak them to ourselves.  We pen things across our minds every single day in our self talk.  How would your silent video sign(s) read today?

I will never amount to anything.
I can't do anything right.
Worthless.
Fat.
I always mess things up.
I am hated.
Failure.
I'll be stuck forever.
Lazy.
I ask dumb questions.
Moron.
I have stupid ideas.
Ugly.
Not enough.
Perfect.
Unlovable.

We all have lies dancing through our thought life.  Some we've put there.  Some others have.  Parents.  Friends.  Enemies.  Coworkers.  Family.  Strangers......  It doesn't matter who spoke it, all lies are straight from the pit.

Many of us have been guilty of shouting these lies to our own children in moments of rage or anger.  The very ones we hope to build up, not tear down.  (Ouch!  Parents-saving this one for next time.)

What if the lies tattooed on our minds would suddenly raise to the surface and be worn on our skin?  Some appearing in bold large font in highly visible places.  You know, the ones you've heard all your life, or maybe were only spoken once, but who said it to you had great significance in your life.  Others would be faded from the years, but still there.  The recent ones would be still slowly being inked across your skin the more you toy with them.  A label someone else gave you.  A label you gave yourself.  For all to read.  For all to know.  A false identity.  Thankfully, this won't happen.

Something more incredible already has.....
Truth has been spoken about you. 
Before you were even born.
A real identity.

The world is very interested in self worth.
I've worked with lots of hurting girls and learned this:

The world does not need more self worth.
The world needs more of His worth.
We need to know who He says we are.
We need to know who we are to Him.
Jesus Christ.

Because once we know that, we can take the lies of this world that have been tattooed in our minds and hearts.... the silent signs that we are holding up today, and replace them with the truth.  Anytime, anyplace.  I'm sharing my favorite Truth cards with you below.  These are the ones that have helped me replace lies in my own life...  This is how I bring the gospel, the good news, alive in my own life each day.  The more stock I place in these truths and the less credit I give to the lies, the more content and meaningful my life becomes.  They are my true identity, who I was created to be.  I took hold of all of these things when I accepted Christ, but I still have remind myself of who I am in Him every. single. day.... when I blow it as a mom or wife..... whenever doubt, fear or worry comes to visit me.... when I look in the mirror and all my imperfections seem to magnify-- I am still taking hold of them each day.

Read through them.... S L O W L Y.   Listen to the truth that has been spoken of you, dear one.  This is what Jesus has written on top of the lies of your silent sign for you today. Try a little bit of HIS worth on for size, and I think you'll find it looks good on you.  Take just one today, and repeat it to yourself over and over and over.  Take another tomorrow.  Begin to let the truth set you free.

YOU are the apple of My eye…  Psalm 17

you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE…  Psalm 139

you are My TREASURED POSSESION…  Deuteronomy 7

you are REDEEMED... Galations 3

you are My RIGHTEOUSNESS in Christ... 2 Corinthians 5

you are the TEMPLE of My Holy Spirit... 1 Corinthians 6

you are FREE from condemnation! Romans 8

you are MORE than a conqueror! Romans 8

you are FREE from weaknesses and diseases… Matthew 8

you are a JOINT-HEIR with My Son… Romans 8

you are a BRANCH of My TRUE VINE… John 15

you are the LIGHT of My world… Mathew 5 & Ephesians 5

you are in the palm of MY HAND… Isaiah 49

I will NEVER leave you or forsake you…Deuteronomy 31, Joshua 1, & Hebrews 13

you are the SALT of My earth... Matthew 5

you are COMPLETE in Me. Colossians 2

you are ACCEPTED in Me… Ephesians 1

you are ALIVE in Me...Romans 6

you are covered by the shadow of MY HAND… Isaiah 5

you are My AMBASSADOR... 2 Corinthians5

you are a MEMBER of My HOUSEHOLD… Galations 6

My LOVE and FAITHFULLNESS go before you… Psalm 89

I LOVE you as much as I love My Son… John 17

NOTHING can pluck you from my hand... John 10

you are DELIVERED from darkness… Romans 6 & Colossians 1

you are a NEW CREATION… 2 Corinthians 5

you are my CHILD… 1 John 3

I LOVED you before the creation of the world… John 17

in ME there is REST… Matthew 11

I know the PLANS I have for you…Jeremiah 29

I give POWER to the weak… Isaiah 40

I supply ALL your needs… Philippians 4

OVERWHELMING VICTORY is yours through My Son… Romans 8

the PEACE I give, the world cannot… John 14

My GRACE is sufficient for you… 2 Corinthians 12

My STRENGTH is made perfect in your weakness… 2 Corinthians 12

even now My Son is EXHAULTED in your body…Philippians 1

My promise preserves your LIFE…Psalm 119

let my UNFAILING LOVE be your COMFORT… Psalm 119

Selah, my friend.... Selah.

Parents, more on bringing this good news to your kids (especially after you've blown it) next time.

Remembering those who have laid their lives down for me....

13 years ago I was working on a team that was designing a concept powertrain/transmission/PTO for a new line of Caterpillar ag tractors.  It was after our annual team outing to the Farm Progress Show when I received "the call." 

The first of many more to come. 

A good friend and coworker directed me to use the phone in his workspace.  News, silence, words, and tears were shared as my throat closed up, swollen with grief.  It would not be the last time that this same friend would offer timely integral words of grace following a life changing call from that very same place.  It is the very character of God to surround us with His fingerprints even, and especially in difficult times... I'm grateful for His touch.

The call.

He had been sick for a while.
Every time we spoke I would wonder if it was the last.
I felt every. single. inch. of the 600 miles between each time the receiver would click.
I will never forget the conversations we had over my lunch breaks.
We knew it was only a matter of time..... as it is for all of us.

Every single day so many lives change forever....
Because of that messenger we all know as "the call."
On the other line is the end of life as you once knew it to be.

Death, cancer, sickness, injury, and birth....
That place where life is truly seen as precious.
Where we feel the depth of our hearts.
Where priorities get aligned.
Love is extended.
Families gather.
Souls awaken.

His name was Randy.
He was my father.
He was a gift.
He was the man who loved my mother....
and adopted her children not by name, but by heart.
We now call him Pappy in our home.
He is missed.
Incredibly.

He was taken far too soon for us all.
A son, brother, uncle, friend, husband, and father.
He had been in our life for a short 13 years.
Raised up half a dozen kids that were not his own.
Survived being the father to 5 teenage daughters all at once.
He didn't get to walk them all down the isle.
Never held a grandchild in his arms.
Didn't get to finish raising his sons.

He was gone too soon.

In his life, he taught me how to be a living memorial.
Selflessness, sacrifice, service, unconditional love.
In his death, he taught me to tend to my soul.
I am thankful for both.

Because the truth is, we all are gone too soon.
A life cut far short of the Master's original plan for us.
We were designed to live a life with Him forever.
It doesn't matter if we live a total of 2 hours, 2 months, 2 years, or 102 years.....
We all live lives cut far short of the original plan.
Even the longest of lives is but a blink compared to eternal life.

We're all gone too soon.

The really hard part of grieving loved ones from a distance, is that the only words that are spoken are words of sorrow and sympathy.  There is no shared remembrance.  It is absolutely and completely void of sharing loving memories with people who understand who this person was to you.  Isolation is it's own grief, and it greets you the moment the long road home is staring you in the face. 

Remembering is important, God places no one in our lives by accident.  Now, I love to take the time to remember loved ones with people I never new, especially if they are grieving away from their loved ones.  One day, who knows... I may even recognize one of them.


Memorial Day.


It's a day we honor those who have laid their own lives down for us.
A day to honor sacrifice, service, and selflessness.
I remember soldiers.
I remember the cross.
I remember my Pappy.

Absolutely, honor those who have laid their lives down for you.
Certainly, remember your loved ones who touched your life.
Mostly, consider what it means to be a living sacrifice.

Thank you Pappy, for showing me how to do this.
You've made it easier for me to follow Jesus.
Through your life....
And your death.

Uncovering the lies behind the new nursing norm....

This topic will likely surface some emotion.... it's sensitive. 

But sensitive topics are real, and sometimes really need attention.

I recently listened to several young women discussing the increasingly popular trend of nursing uncovered in public....  Great conversations were had by this group of young moms and moms-to-be.  There were those who followed Jesus, those who did not, those who nursed uncovered, those who didn't..... all equally torn and passionate about this sensitive topic.  Then it was finally said:  " I wonder what Jesus would think if He were here, and what He'd want us all to do?" 

I offered my perspective as did other experienced nursing mothers. 

Eyes were opened, scales removed, lies left behind.  A beautiful thing.

I hope that happens today.

Whether you follow Jesus or not, I believe there is at least one gem to find the in this post for you.  I hope when you find the nugget that was intended just for you, that you would take hold of it... even if it's a little sharp and stings at first. 

I believe we can follow Jesus in ALL areas of life.... even when feeding our infants.  Yes, even then.  Although Jesus never fed an infant, I believe his invitation to follow Him still applies to us then.  After all, Jesus never said:  "Come follow me... exception given to hormone imbalanced nursing mothers".

Yet, somehow many of us have bought that lie... at least once. 
Others of us are camping out there. 

Nursing uncovered in public. It is the increasingly new trend of nursing children without any covering in public places.  Often times, it is preceded by posting success photos on social networks for the whole world to see.

Recently while out to eat, two nursing mother friends were nursing uncovered in the booth next to me.... their conversation early in the meal was all about a preteen daughter posting inappropriate pictures of herself online, and the mother was completely overwhelmed about how it came to be and what she could do about it.  Following their meal and conversation, the moms debated about which nip (nursing in public) pictures to post of themselves, and on which forums/groups.

Hmmm... I wonder where that preteen daughter has learned it.....

Beneficial to the child, harmless, no consequences?   I bet you'll think differently when little Emmy's body begins to change or when little Jonny's grows up and his big boy friends find photos of mommy and him online and they go viral...

Viral in his entire teenage world anyway.

Side note, so you think you've been posting them only in private and closed groups.... try again--score a few likes from other mutual friends, and BAM..... larger-than-life you now appear on my wall too, in full postpartum glory.

I understand we have the "right" to do this as a women living in America today.  I see exactly how these trends come to be.  We all realize this.  To be honest, in our ever increasingly unhealthy hyper sexualized world,  I expect a constant increase in self centered behavior based on self-liberation.... it is the times in which we live. 

However, some of these terrible freedoms have also come at a terrible cost.  And the cost has been great....   Just look around, I bet your Facebook newsfeed has several examples of how "good" things were when we "used to"_________ .  Insert whatever common sense behavior you'd like, there is something WHOLE  and right and good about it.  We've now somehow regressed to taking third world pictures of half dressed Amazonian women in war paint holding machetes and use them as the American nursing in public meme models... pride.. power...self..... liberty.

Yet, in the quest of liberty... I see slaves.

Slaves to rebellion.... it comes at a cost too.  The need to justify behavior.  The need to vomit emotionally to everyone in hopes that one person defends their self seeking cause.  A constant itch that needs scratched.  Anger towards others.  Restlessness.

.....all in the name of what is natural... what is best for the child.... choice.... freedom.

Freedom, terrible freedom...... producing self induced slaves.

Freedom doesn't feel like that, friend.

It doesn't wear the face of anger or justification.

It feels right.... for everyone.

That said, I wish to offer a huge challenge to present and future nursing moms who have decided to follow Jesus a little deeper.  Those who have decided to give Him their all, who are ready to release to Him even the smallest area that they are doing life for themselves instead of for Him.

Topics like these are so sensitive. 

I believe largely it's because it is something God designed to be sacred and intimate, and we are so far from that.  Because we've bought the lie the enemy has fed us..... It makes perfect sense to me.  Why not tempt the mother who lays everything else down for the needs of her family with doing something to liberate herself?  Why not place blinders on to see only the moment of infant child and not growing child?  Why not wave the illusion of control during the season of learning to surrendering control a little deeper?  Self.  Anger.  Justification.  It's all vomit from the same enemy.  He's vomiting lies, and we're devouring them as a nation.... and using a third world machete woman as our mascot.

My I gently encourage you to ponder these thoughts:

While nursing uncovered, am I serving myself and my desires or serving those around me? 
Is my desire to nurse uncovered mostly selfish or selfless? 
Today, how can I die to self more so that He can be best honored in and through me? 
Am I following Jesus, or the crowd on this one?
Could my own rights and freedom have me held captive as a slave?


I have a dear friend who is nursing a child with special needs.  He does not tolerate his body being covered.... I respect this friend for searching and trying to find certain fabrics that he would tolerate so she could make small custom privacy cloths to cover herself.  In addition, she wore certain underclothing that allowed her to remain covered sans blankets.  If there is anyone I have ever known who could have justified exposing herself for the benefit of her baby, it was her.... but she chose to follow Jesus and serve those around her instead.  It is beautiful... friend, I respect you for clothing yourself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

While feeding her baby in public and keeping herself covered, she was following Jesus.  She was silently serving the sexually unhealthy around her by minimizing unhealthy urges or hurts, she was helping the post abortive, cancer surviving, or grieving women around her to be more comfortable in her own silent pain.  She was helping present and future marriages all around her community by not impressing visual images of taken women into the minds of men that cannot ever erase them, and she was showing the teenagers in the room that there is something sacred and intimate about not only the bond between husband and wife, but mother and infant child as well.  She was loving her neighbor more than herself, and taking the time to consider the interests of those around her ahead of her own. 

She was following Jesus.

Not because she was following the rules perfectly.

Not because she was better than anyone else in the room.

But because she followed Jesus into that room.

Because she cared about the condition of the hearts of those around her, just as Jesus does.

And because she knew His ways are better than her own.... rich in modesty and grace.

We live in a world that embraces the list of reasons and rights that are continually thrown in front of us justifying why we should live for ourselves.  The truth is, women, we do not know what is like to be a teenage boy with a testosterone super highway being built within us.... or what it means to fight the battlefield within the visual mind of men.  We may not be sexually unhealthy, post abortive, or live with the real scars of female cancer, or be in the midst or wake of the loss of a child.  But friends, that doesn't mean we can ignore that they make up a VERY large percent of our public community.  I believe following Jesus means we deny ourselves and follow Jesus instead of the newest self righteous trend.

Following Jesus isn't just about bringing Him glory, but it's also for our own good.

He knows the hearts of all.

He understands the pain of all.

He sees the scars of all... hidden or visible.

And He laid is life down for every last one of us.

When we follow Jesus, he's asking us to do this too.... to lay our self down for them as well.

Jesus came to teach us it is about our heart condition.... not to give us a list of rules.  A list of should's and should not's is not what we need, nor my goal with this.

My goal is to gently encourage you to examine your own heart when given the moment to serve self or others and weigh out a few thoughts...."Am I being selfless or selfish.... am I serving and loving my neighbors.... am I following Jesus or the crowd....or am I feeding the never, ever satisfied pit of pride, power, and self."  .....am I buying a lie, that is affecting others around me?

Only you know.



I think it's best you talk to God on your own this time.

This time, I'll leave you with the same question of my new friend..... 
" I wonder what Jesus would think if He were here, and what He'd want us all to do."

Talk it over with Him.

One is sweet, the other is deep....

I love when questions come in twos.... it immediately makes you feel far less alone!

• How do I go from believing in Christ to actually following Christ?
• What is the main difference between believing and following?

Thank you for asking!

Friends, you are looking to gain an understanding of the difference between salvation and surrender.... a tall question that every Christian should ask of themselves, daily.  Some days I live saved, other days I live surrendered..... there is a very big difference.

Salvation is sweet and simple.
Surrender is deep and difficult.

Believers in Christ have taken the step of salvation.

It is a one time event.... the moment in which we choose to make Jesus the Lord of our lives, the moment in which our names are penned into the most important book ever written for entry into glorious eternal life, it is incredibly beautiful, incredibly sweet and simple, it is the necessary foundation and  for the Christian walk, and

Most would agree that this was the most important moment of their lives.

I believe Jesus would say the same thing,
....until the moment that you believe.

After that moment, I believe that He is far more interested in our surrender. 

Unlike salvation, it has to happen over, and over, and over again.  And it is NOT natural. 

I believe that salvation is as much natural as divine.  There is need within us designed to feel empty and incomplete, and God pursues that void in our hearts because His passion is to take residency within.  We are designed with salvation in mind.  And while life is best lived fully surrendered, I do not think it is natural for mankind.

Think about it like this: 

When you are a parent of a little one, they believe that you will save them from any trouble, danger, or mess they become entangled in.  However, the more that child grows the less they believe that they need your help, and they try to go their own way.  It must happen in order to bring about maturity, but the fact that you could still help them has never changed.  You want to save them and make it better, but at some point their own choice is a very real factor.  It is very special to have your child melt into your arms when they are little.  Although it is incredibly sweet, it is no where near as special as when they CHOOSE to return to your arms as they grow. 

Why? 

Because as they grow, it requires surrender.... a moment of acknowledging their own fault, responsibility, or sin in a matter.  When your child is young you are the center of all their affections and attention... However as that young child grows there are other things pulling for their attention and affection, many distractions and much busyness....   Now think about that same grown child finally realizing that they had been going in the wrong direction.  They finally give in and muster up an " I blew it, mom... you were right...." or perhaps a "I need your help to get out of this mess I've made...."moment.

That, to me, is what I believe my own surrender feels like to Jesus. 

One is sweet, the other is deep.

God designed family to teach us about our need for Him... for both salvation (needing saved) and surrender (needing saved again from the consequences of doing it my own way).  He's not going to force me to surrender, but He delights when I do... over and over and over again. 

As sweet as the moment of my salvation was when I first ran into His arms, the moments of surrender that we have shared mean SO much more.  Whether it is every day simply choosing to live to for Him over myself, or the releasing a specific area of life that I was doing my own way, or yielding to those nudges the Spirit gives, or learning more about doing life God's way... He delights in our surrender.

Friends, this same God is still pursing your heart today.  He is the loving Father who wants to save you.... over and over and over again.  He wants to take up more room, in more areas.  He wants to be Lord of ALL of it.  The broken parts, the old parts, the new parts.  But it requires surrender....

Beautiful plan, beautiful God.

Church, let's let our Savior delight in His people this Easter as we surrender more to Him.....

Parents, most of us are either thankful for, or praying for, the salvation of our kids... let's not only pray for their salvation, but for their surrender as well. 

A saved child is protected, a surrendered child is powerful.




Heavenly Father, 

You are God, and I am not.  Your way is perfect, mine is not.  Help me to have eyes to see the areas of my life that need to get in step with your plans for me.  Thank you for wanting all of me, help me to surrender all to You.  Please Lord, pursue my children to live their lives fully surrendered to you, and show me how to model a life fully dependent on You.

In the name of Jesus, who surrendered all,
Amen.

Fragile Hearts... Handle With Care

This morning I want to take a bit of time to talk with you.

I miss you!

Some of you would be very proud of me, I'm actually typing this post, and not just speaking into a device that is doing the typing for me.  That's only because the rest of my house has yet to come to life this morning. 

Nine months ago, a new season of life birthed for me in many ways... one of the many drastic areas of change has been having a "personal assistant".  Since then, I haven't typed a note or post, set an alarm, dialed a number, plugged in a destination to gps, looked up a number, wrote down an address, or clipped a coupon....  (although I have actually typed a few texts on occasion... but yes, most of them have been spoken as well.)  It. is. weird.  Diving right into the smart phone world after having no cell phone at all..... I've tackled the learning curve head on--entirely too many of you would be ridiculously proud.  I'm proud because I still own it, it doesn't own me.  Many of you know this first hand because of my less-than-instant replies.  = )

Anyhow, this post was intended to be short and simple.

I wanted to ask for your prayers.  

You have overwhelmed me.  In a great way... but also incredibly challenging as well.

First of all, THANK YOU for all your messages about topics that you would like sound advice about.  I am honored that you have trusted me with some very tough and delicate areas of your life, and humbled that my perspective may influence you in some way.

Second, although I haven't been posting--I have been busy addressing them.  But as some of you know, some of these areas are not easy to write or talk on.  I have currently wrote (ok-spoke) on all but one.... however they are hovering in the blog world somewhere between compose and publish.

Which brings me to....

Third-- after praying about many of these topics, I feel as though there is likely a whole community of folks who may need advice on how to follow Jesus in these areas.  So as I have shared with many of you privately, I am praying about posting the topics here.

Some of these are pretty touchy.

Delicate areas.

Fragile.

So again, I ask that you would join me in praying about publishing these posts.  Pray that God would direct the audience he has for them, pray that they would be received with no spirit of condemnation, pray as I reread and edit that He would illuminate anything that is untrue, unnecessary, or divisive, and certainly pray that His light would illuminate the darkness that is tucked away in our hearts and lives.

Friend, you know I don't take this lightly, or you would have never trusted me with your heart in the first place.  Thank you for your prayers.

I had originally planned to slowly ramp up into some tougher topics, but clearly the audience of this blog is ready. 

I should have known better.  = )

Last, I hear you.

Your words are not falling on deaf ears, and I think God will use your transparency in a glorious way.

If there is an area in your life that you are finding it hard to follow Jesus, or unsure of how that may look... always feel free to post in the comments or pm me about it.


Let's pray together:

Thank you Heavenly Father for your attention to every detail of our life.  Thank you for making us so complexly divine.  Thank you for complicated areas of this life that make it hard to follow you.... as we look into them deeper, may we come out the other side with more faith than today.

Lord, You know the words that are written, You know the hearts that need tended, You know the prisoners that need freed, and Your truth is the key.  I pray that your Spirit would direct me to touch these delicate areas with the tenderness of Your grace and with life giving words of Truth.  We pray that no spirit of condemnation would seep in. Thank you, Father for mentoring relationships that span the test of distance.  But mostly, thanks in advance for the work You are about to do.... we are humbled that You would include us.  Gently open eyes, tenderize hearts, and take away any blindness or fear we have that is keeping us from following You.

We pray for courage, discernment, and revelation..... and we trust Your perfect timing.

In the Freeing name of Jesus we pray,
Amen

Waiting Rooms-Home of the Easily Annoyed Heart

 

Ever need a healthy dose of perspective in your life?  Well evidently I needed one today...... As I was sitting in the waiting room today it occurred to me how many hours I've spent in the last dozen years in the waiting room with several young children in tow (or within) me.  Please understand that I am a healthy young mom with healthy young children, but even in a healthy family there are still many times that you find yourself in that all too familiar waiting room with the clock never far from your mind.

First, let's stop and think about the term patient.... orthodontist, or chiropractor, or doctor, or dental, or any other area... you are someone's patient.  Ironic title, isn't it?  It certainly does not describe the tone of the waiting room I was in today.... or ever, as a point of fact. 

Think about the last time you spent a great deal of time in the waiting room.....remember it??.... surrounded by rolling eyes, loud sighs, sarcasm, people checking the time frequently, whispers for children to be patient from their own not-so-patient frustrated parents, restless children, people complaining, schedules being adjusted, and far from private phone calls or posts that seem to increase at the same rate of frustration ensuring that everyone possible can share in your temporal affliction.

Truth is, I'm just as guilty as the next guy.  Even if I don't wear it externally, there have been many moments where I've boiled inside over the time I've spent waiting in an exam or waiting room.... especially in those emotionally unstable moments as a new or very expectant mommy.  According to Jesus, internalizing it is just as bad as all the adult temper tantrums I was surrounded by today.... for the Lord above all cares about the condition of our hearts.  Today for the first time I was given some healthy and needed perspective.....

We all have seasons where we have needed urgent attention and been the one to affect someone else's schedule, yet we all struggle to give grace to those who are affected by this daily.  Today as I sat in my waiting room, I wondered what it would look like to follow Jesus here.

God knows everything.... He sees the person that was in our room before us.... He knows the bad news the doctor had to deliver earlier that day..... He knows the urgency and affliction that is all around us...  I wondered if He was sitting in any given waiting room today, offering all that He knew, how much that the tone of place would change..........  how quickly we'd all go from annoyed to grateful.  Grateful... we would all be grateful.  We'd be thankful for the small treatable sicknesses, the well baby visits, the immunizations that we have the terrible freedom to argue about, we'd celebrate our pre and postnatal care, and repeating our medical insurance information for the ten-millionth time. 

Sure, many of us will likely face a medical giant at some point, but most of us will likely spend a great deal of time as someone's relatively healthy (and annoyed--at least internally annoyed) patient first.  Sadly, I don't think it is until that giant arrives that we gain the perspective we should have had all along.  I'm choosing not to wait for it.

I remember one of the things that stood out to me as I watched a young friend battle cancer, was that somehow God had given her an incredible perspective in her suffering.  Even though she was facing this giant cancer, and even though in many moments in the hospital she may have been the most critical patient, He had given her more perspective than most adults to realize that even in those moments, it still wasn't all about her..... even up to her last breath she was praying for those around her.  Wow.

It's time for me to break past being easily annoyed.... and break through to seeing the world around me, and offer my smile and my prayers.  Anybody with me?

I can't speak for you, but I'm following Jesus into my next waiting room....


Heavenly Father,

Lord, you know me... inside and out, and you want to tend to all of me, not just part of me.  Thank you for pursuing my easily annoyed heart.  Father I need you to search my heart and lead me... even and especially when I am easily annoyed.  Give me your perspective to remember that even when I am someone's patient, the world doesn't revolve around me.  Help me to extend grace, offer a smile, and pray for those around me who may be dealing with a medical giant.  Empower me to do these things in good health and in sickness, and replace my annoyance with Your peace.

In the patient name of Jesus I pray,
Amen

Going Beyond: A Road Trip with Jesus

I have a friend who decides on a word or some words that is going to characterize how she is hoping to grow in the Lord that year.  Last year she chose the words "Go Beyond." Now, I can't say I'll never do this, but things like this typically set me up for feeling like an unfaithful failure--so I avoid them, but that is not my point.  My point is that her words stuck in my head and heart.  We shared some things that God was really stretching us both to do, and do well.  We talked about these often, and had wonderful conversations about following Jesus down paths that we certainly would have avoided without Him.  Recently those words have surfaced in my own heart again, and I've been pondering where Jesus wants me to Go Beyond for Him.  This got me thinking....

I realized quickly how many areas in life that he wanted me to also go beyond--right now.... we all have them, but we avoid them naturally.  It takes some intentionality to go where we otherwise wouldn't.... for the good or the bad.  A lot of people have asked me questions like:  "How do you have the time and patience to be able to mentor the lost... or work with girls struggling with self-destruction.... or do marriage counseling..... or parent 24/7.... or be a stay-at-home mom.... or homeschool.... or all of the other things that my day often consists of.  My answers is simple:  "I don't."  I don't have the time to do any of those things, none of us do.  I don't have the time to go beyond... things like this are done when we MAKE the time to do them.  We all have the same amount of time each day to manage, and we all have plenty competing for our time.  Going beyond means that you are going to follow Jesus down a road He wants to travel, and He's invited you on a road trip... and you get to be the navigator.  Everyday there is a road trip with Jesus that we can CHOOSE to take, or we can cozy up with our friend the internet in our snuggies and hot cocoa and pay bills all night.  = )  There is somewhere in every single day where we can MAKE the time to Go Beyond.

I wonder today how God is asking you to go beyond, just. for. today.  Not thinking any farther than that. I know today He will give you the opportunity to go beyond... in fact, He probably already has.  Some of the ways I have been challenged to Go Beyond this week are simple (but hard).... such as not having the last word when I feel right, sacrificing sleep or entertainment to serve another, putting my shopping cart back at -15 degrees, loving the ignored, encouraging the discouraged, making points of touch that are long overdue, apologizing..... if your a wife or a mom, you probably have at least a dozen ways to Go Beyond before your feet have even hit the floor most mornings.
 

I know you are thinking...... good. for. YOU...... or boy, I'm glad that works for YOU.  Well, the truth is this is not just for those who have reached a certain "level"... or have a certain amount of free time.... we all have 100% free time, and the terrible freedom to fill it however we desire.  We know that there is a time for all things... and if you follow Jesus, He wants to be the Lord of your time.... all of it-not just some of it.  You see, you either follow Jesus, or you don't..... it's not something that "some" of us are called to do with "some" of our free time.  We are all called to Go Beyond--every.single.day.-- if we follow Him.

I often see walls that are put up, or fears that are in the way, or insecurities that prevail over the work that God has to do in peoples lives.  This happened in my own life this week as I worked really hard to recognize a couple of areas where I knew walls, fears, and insecurity, past hurt, and  were preventing me from Going Beyond.... and I'm working on those in my life step by step.  But I've also learned this week, that as I follow Jesus and go beyond the walls, the insecurity, the fear......... that I have absolutely nothing to hide nothing or to fear because perfet love casts out fear..... it always protects, always preservers, holds no record of wrongs... it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  If the One who is capable of all of that is inviting me on a road trip each day to God Beyond with Him.... why on earth would I ever fear or hide?  Yet we naturally do.  So let's pray.... for the courage and selflessness to GO BEYOND today. 

And thanks friend... for two simple words that are forever woven into the fabric of my life.



Heavenly Father,

I love you Lord.  I thank you for the incredible privilege to GO BEYOND with you. Lord, the truth is we all are scared.... scared of the letting go that is needed to follow you.... scared of the unknowns that come with following you..... scared of the hurt and pain that may surface.... scared of walking into the places we've abandoned that never went away even though we've been ignoring them for a very long time.  You are the God of all these places, and you are One who can empower us by Your great strength.  Grant us the courage to follow you, from the first step until the last.  In places of comfort, and places of pain.... with people we love, and those who are less than loving.... in the yesterday, today, and tomorrow.... for You are the God of them all.  Reveal where You want me to GO BEYOND.... and give me ears that hear and a willing heart.

In the name of Jesus, who went beyond....
Amen.

 

Goodness Gracious-There is no goodness without His grace on us!

Ever notice how much our kids talk so much about being good..... Jesus wants me to be good.  He was good today.  The bible says that we need to do good things for people.  Jesus, help me to be good boy today, Amen.  And then there is always that one kid, that just isn't very good, or doesn't look very good..... I find this fascinating....

What I really am hearing is an incredible emphasis of the expectation of goodness in their itty bitty selves.  Basically they think that the kids that look good and do good, are doing things God's way.  I think this speaks volumes into the expectations they feel about performing in this life, and what we are likely living out ourselves.  They know exactly what our main objectives for them in life are, even if we haven't told them directly.  Indirectly, they learn our expectations by what we choose to discipline them for, praise them about, and expect of them.... even if it has never "officially" been established.

So what is it that we desire of them?  Our kids already have it figured out.... time for us to think on it for a bit.  The truth is, many of us haven't spent enough (or any) time figuring out how to follow Jesus here for ourselves, much less for the little ones we've been entrusted to help navigate.  Let me help you with the basics, I think it's safe to say these likely make the list (like it or not) of what we hope our children will be:

To be good.
To be kind.
To be honest.
To do good things.
To be respectful.
To love others.
To be responsible.
To be a nice sibling.
To look presentable.
To not whine or complain.
... and the believer would add:
To be saved.

The list could go on and on, but you get the point.  All of these are good things to teach children.  But, the result is not a dependency on God, but on self.  I am convinced that a large part of the self destruction trend among teens today is the result of pressure to be something unattainable... and where there isn't self destruction, there is often an overabulndance of self righteousness.  Now look back at that list,--------reread it, really-------- now tell me....... without the help of Christ, honestly when was the last time you were all of that in a day?  Humbling. 

(Most of you are rereading it now instead.... it's okay, you're helping make my point.)

A follower of Jesus is more than just morally good... and has more than just morally good expectations for their children.  I'm not saying that the list needs to grow and add more pressures, I'm saying that the Jesus I know, came to blow lists like these completely out of the water.  He came because we had proven that on our own we could NOT be good enough.  He came to say enough lists and pressures, it's all about Me.  The truth is that is freaks us out to think about what following Jesus as a parent looks like, so we've just jumped on the moral bandwagon that everyone else is riding on..... many of us without even knowing it.  My question is:  How's it working for you?   It's not, because we can't mold goodness into something God desires to be broken for Him to use. It comes by grace alone, none of us are strong enough to remain good on our own.

We want to believe man to be mostly good, so we have no need for God.  But the bible teaches there is no good found in sinful man without Christ's offer of grace, so we have a tremendous need for Him.  Let's change the compass of our expectations from following morality, to following Jesus, and focus more every day on our reliance on Him for goodness than our unattainable expectations of goodness.....  For us, and our children.


Heavenly Father,

Forgive us where we have followed the compass pointing anywhere but you.  Empower us to teach the children you have entrusted to us in a new way, seasoned by grace and rich in love.  Help us to remind ourselves of who we are in You, so that our children may know who they can be in You as well.  Thank you father, that in You I am complete and lacking nothing, because I know full well on my own that I am simply nothing and incomplete.  Release our children from any chains of bondage that our unattainable expectations have held them captive in, and create in our homes a new tone of goodness centered around You.

In the good name of Jesus I pray,
Amen