What floating down a river taught me about life and family.....

We floated down a river with some extended family this weekend.

It was an awesome ride..... moments worth reflecting on and worth sharing.


As we started down the river, we were all grouped tightly together.  Even though we were in the same current, some floated with ease down the river as others got stuck or were moving along at a much slower pace.  It didn't take long for distance to quickly grow between us all.  Our group now spanned a good section of the river.

It was a beautiful winding river, you couldn't quite see what was too far up ahead.  The ones who were in the lead shouted cautions to those lagging behind, helping them to guide them around the obstacles up they could see up ahead. 

Sometimes you couldn't see the obstacles, but they were there nonetheless.  Lurking just beneath the water, boulders eager to be bruising landmines or tall grasses determined to snare you.  Other times they were more obvious.  Overgrown or down trees, branches stretching out to entangle you.  Large rocks peeking out above the water, warning of the danger below.  Some were easier to navigate around than others.

Most of the time, though, the ride was absolutely glorious.  Smooth waters, gentle current, slight breeze, warm sun, a balance of good company, conversation, reflection, and solitude, all in a beautiful serene setting.  Family all around to help work together if you needed it. 

Arms and legs sprawled over tubes warm from the sun.  Sunglasses and hats.... some more "interesting and secure" than others.  Shoes off, shoes on, shoes as paddles, shoes lost.  Toes and fingers reaching for other tubes, linking together.  Smiles..... glorious smiles.

At one point there was a lone tube, stuck in a huge down tree.  No one was there to help them.  They had quite the job ahead of them to get around what had entrapped them.  No one could help them without risking popping their own tubes, and it made me think of this.  It made me glad to be floating with my family.

And then came the rapids......

All the recent flooding and heavy rain sure helped bustle us right along. What an adventure!  Shoes lost, tubes flipped, water soaked, knees and toes cut, giggles and shivers.  I think over half our group landed at our exit point either bloody or bruised.  (I personally couldn't even stand up on the slippery rocks, because I was giggling at a certain aunt upstream who was desperately trying to remount her capsized tube.... most likely weakened by the same terrible giggling disease I have.)

Our river journey finally came to an end. 

We gathered again together.  Sharing stories, triumphs, giggles, hugs, shivers, comparing battle bruises and wounds.  We discussed how to navigate the current, rapids, and landing more successfully next time.  A determination to conquer the next adventure met a sadness for those who missed out.

The only posted danger sign along the way was for the rapids, but many other things were obstacles nonetheless.  It could have been a boulder or tree, or perhaps a change in current, a gust of wind, a cloud, a sandbar, long reeds, litter, slippery rocks, fear, or isolation.... they all sure seemed inconvenient and quite unpleasant at the time.

But they didn't matter anymore.  It didn't matter how much pain they caused.  It didn't matter the trial or circumstances we had faced.  What mattered was we all landed on the shore safely to walk away together.

Eager to move on to what is ahead..... together.



This river reminded me of life.
This river reminded me of family.



We start off this journey as a family, neatly grouped all together.  The current of life happens, and distance of some nature is inevitable.  We are all in the same journey together, but we take different paths at different speeds.  Many times we are out of reach, other times too close for comfort.

Just like the river, we do not know what is up ahead of us.  There are some things in life that have obvious warning signs, and but there are many other hidden things that are just as dangerous.  Things that slow us down, or entrap us.  There are constant threats in this life, and we all need guidance to navigate it well.

Many times those who have gone ahead of us shout words of caution to those headed toward similar obstacles, hoping to be a guide away from danger or pain.  And, although most of our journey may be smooth, from time to time we all face unforeseen and inevitable obstacles along the way.  It is in these moments that working together is essential.

Floating that river alone would not have been half as fun, and certainly would have been far more dangerous.

Above all else, one thing is certain for us all. 

All of our journey's come to an end.  Family meets us there, despite the distance along the way.  Stories are shared, battle scars and wounds are exposed.



You may be wondering what this has to do with following Jesus.
My answer is........ absolutely everything



You see even though our journey down the river was complete, we faced one specific problem.  We got off on the wrong side of the river.  Across the swiftly moving post rapid current and full of slippery dangerous rocks, on the other side of the river was the pick up spot where a shuttle would deliver us safely home.  After the trouble we had just standing up in the water near the edge, all of us knew there was no way we were going to be able to cross over the river on our own strength.  There was nothing we could do.

Thankfully, someone had provided a way.  I was so busy enjoying the ride, I had completely missed it.  I had floated right under it.  There just behind us, spanning high over the river was a walking bridge. 





I love bridges.  They are marvelous and full of wonder.  A marvel deeper than knowing that man was able to connect two pieces of land together for so many to cross.  A wonder deeper than being a gateway to a new place to discover.  Deeper yet.  A soul deep wonder.  They cause me to marvel at The Bridge that was built, provided, and gifted to me in Christ.  The Bridge that no man can build, no enemy can destroy, and has the ability to set all things right.

So on that river's edge, we did the only thing left to do at the end of a journey.  One by one we crossed safely over the bridge, and began our way home... together.

Just as fast as our river journey passed........

We hugged together.
We applied sunscreen together.
We mounted tubes in the cool water together.
We peed together.
We floated together.
We talked together.
We listened together.
We contemplated together.
We giggled together.
We grinned together.
We shivered together.
We adored creation together.
We soaked up rays together.
We rode the rapids together.
We bruised our bottoms together.
We wiped out together.
We cut our toes together.
We ate wild berries together.
We rode a bus together.
We picnicked together.
We threw a Frisbee together.
We shared old memories together.
We watched our men nearly die on a waterslide together.
We hugged one another little tighter together.
We said goodbye together.

Just as fast.....the journey of life also quickly comes to an end.


And when it does, the only thing that really truly matters is that we all have found The Bridge that delivers us safely home, together........ forever.

20 Things I Wish I Would Have Known When I Graduated....

I'm about to do something I never expected do..... list blog.   (*gasp*) 
Many of you seem to be incredibly fond (and mildly addicted) to them.
I confess (*sigh*) that I really am not.
However, it seemed like the best fit for this post.

By now most graduation ceremonies and celebrations are now in the history books for the year... the excitement and checklists lists have settled down, silly square hats worn and thrown, cards are opened, hugs, flowers and congratulations have been exchanged among the loved ones.... plans both of the known and unknown shared about future hopes and dreams.

And now sit many graduates are with temporarily heavier wallets and likely daily contemplations of what to do with the short amount of time left to "live it up" before leaving for school, or beginning military training..... or before all other friends all leave town if you are staying local.

This is the first time in a decade that I haven't been surrounded by conversations with young adults entering into, exiting out of, or in the middle of this defining season of life.  I love and miss those talks.  Although we can't speak face to face, I extend my congratulations to you, and hope this little list blog may encourage you find or follow Christ along your journey.

20 Things I wish I would have known when I graduated:


You are in the most defining season of your life.  So many decisions are made in early adulthood that will forever affect your life.  Beyond just choosing a career or major.  It is the season where most people meet their future spouse, where many lifelong habits or addictions are often formed, and for many their faith becomes either real, found, or abandoned.

Your choices will now have lifelong consequences now.  Sex, alcohol, and drugs..... they have the power to create, change, or end life.  Before now, you most likely had to seek this out in secret... now, they will be seeking you out regularly in public.  The consequences of your choices in these areas may, might, perhaps could, will affect your future spouse and your children.

Sin affects those around you.  In a world consumed with self, do not forget that your wrong choices never only affect you.

Don't dread the drudgery, expect it.  No one lands their ideal career job right off the bat, expect to start somewhere less than your perfect ideal.  God is far more interested in building your character through the mundane daily things that you'll be tempted to otherwise put off.  Do them.

Work hard.  Toward your grades, in your jobs, in boot camp, wherever you end up.  The Lord says that when we are faithful with a little He gives us more.  Learn to be faithful with a little.

Debate is good, but attack is bad.  God intended us to learn from one another, be open to that-- but don't be so set on being right that you would attack the character of another person.

Choose a major or a job.  Do it.  Sure it's hard to, but find something to aspire to.  It's okay that you are not 100% sure of it, select something anyway..... I have adults every day on my newsfeed that are still taking quizzes to tell them all about who they are and what they should be.  It is a lot to be confident in as a young adult. That's okay, but pick something..... it's time.

Quit thinking God is only on one path, and you may miss it.  He is the God that holds the whole universe in order.... I'm quite certain He frequents both Yale and Harvard.  = ) Be far more concerned that on one path He there is wanting to pour out His favor and blessing (as a result of your choices and obedience), and that He is on the other path as well--arms wide open and willing to redeem any mess you've gotten into.  He isn't on one path and not the other.  It only matters that you seek Him on whichever path your on.

Don't be afraid of the hard times.  You will face trials of many kinds, some will be your fault and some won't.  All are intended to grow you in character and maturity.  Quit hoping for a fair world.  It never has been, and never will be.  Learn to make the best of the hard times, they will come.

God is not an instant God.  We live in an instant world, we desire results immediately... God is not that way.  Don't feel like He's less present, less caring, or less capable because you aren't seeing Him work in your timeframe. 

Find a church.  Believer or not, find a church to connect with... and invite someone to go with you.  For me as an unbeliever then, this was only a few times a year for a college student meal.  I'm glad I went.  Volunteer.  Drink free coffee.  Ponder God.  Awaken your faith as your own.  Go.

Things will never be the same.  It's true.... but don't fear it.  I've never met an adult who ever wished they were back in the drama of high school.

Call your parents.  More often than you think you should.  Do it.  Keep saying I love you.  You are almost to the point in life where you'll realize that they were right about far more than you ever imagined.

Stop the serial dating.  Most of you did this through high school.  Bouncing from one relationship to the next.  Stop it.  Be single for a while.  Be picky about who you want to date.  Girls, let him chase you for a while.... there is a good chance he may be your future spouse or in the way of your future spouse.... either way, you won't regret him learning how to pursue you.  Guys-quit the hookups, they mess with the rest of your life.

Seize opportunities to volunteer.  As often as they come.  Change your little part of this big world.

Focus on one thing at a time.  Give each experience your full attention.

Put your phone down and talk to people.  Your likely addicted to online browsing or texting to pass time.  Be intentional about putting the screens away.  Talk to someone around you instead, look into their eyes. As you do and your day will be far better.  Laugh.  Often.  Especially during finals.

And lastly, but most importantly my top three.... 

Run TO God with your pain, not AWAY from Him.  Heartache, trial, failure, defeat, depression, loneliness, regret...... turn to Him in all of it.  He already knows about it anyway--let him be your comfort.

Ask someone you respect to be your mentor.  Seek them out.  Tell them you'd like to trust their confidence and lean on their advice from time to time.  Stay in touch with them.

Turn around.  It doesn't matter how far you've turned away, when you decide to turn around, Jesus meets you right there.  But only you can choose to turn yourself around.  Do it, don't wait.



Well there you have it.  Many of you already know the love I hold in my heart for college students and young adults.  It is a privilege to be able to speak into your lives.  Embrace the season that you are in.  It is special.  You are about to learn more about yourself than you ever cared to know.  You are not a child anymore..... own your faults, work on your weaknesses, and cultivate your strengths.  Find Jesus.  Follow Him, and the rest will fall into place.




Side note....

Parents, know I am praying for you.  Parenting adult children is not easy, but stay engaged.  Open your hands, but trust your gut.  Recently Stormie Omartin has been posting some great encouragement on her FB page from her book The Power of Praying for Adult Children.  Looks to be a great resource.  As I see her posts, I pray for you as parents.  May be worth "liking" her on FB.

Daring to push past "I'm sorry" when you've really blown it with your kids.....

Alright, I promised here that we'd talk about the parenting side of it....... yup, spoken lies.  Those things people have said about you that somehow work their way into the fabric of your identity, even though they are completely false.  So, today, let's think specifically on wounding words from a parenting perspective..... this is huge and sneaks into almost every family when things are tense.

What do you tend to do when life seems overwhelming or difficult?  What kind of thoughts run through your mind?  How do you react when your child is angry or defiant?  Do you tend to get angry and yell, or do you freeze and say nothing and brood in your mind, or become frightened and give in, or escape and ignore?  Specifically, what kinds of words come naturally to your tongue? 

You will never amount to anything!
You always make such a mess of things!
You're such a moron!
Knock it off.... stop it!
You should know better than that!
Man, you can't do anything right!
Leave me alone-you always give me such a headache.
Your absolutely worthless.
That's it- I don't want to talk about it again!
You never learn, do you?
You can't wear that!
If I want anything done right around here, I have to do it myself.
That'll never work!
You know what I think, so don't even ask!
There, you've done it again!
Stop it!  I have a splitting headache.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!
You never listen!

So many parental reactions begin with lines like these.
And typically, they are only the beginning of many hurtful words said in anger.
Which one made you twinge with guilt or feel uneasy as you read it?
Which one might your kids say is your go-to reaction line?
Reread the list and figure it out..... listen for them.
Identifying it may just may help you hit the pause button the next time things become tense.

Either way, more than likely we waver on one extreme or the other when parenting gets tough.  And more than likely, the majority of our natural reactions were shaped long before our parenting journey ever began.  In fact, I recently read that our daily working adult vocabularies are almost completely formed by age two. 

Wow.  Age two.
Seems hopeless then right?

Not really......

Every single one of us has an earthly lineage. 

At one point, we were all dependent upon someone to show us how to do life.  Even if they didn't recognize or step up to the responsibility, we still were learning.  We learned how to eat, speak, act, and react.  Earthly lineages all have one thing in common:  Regardless of how perfect someone else's seems, they are all laced with sin. 

Every.  single.  one.  of.  us.

None of us came from a perfect home.
None of us live in one today.
We are all equal sinners at the foot of the cross.

We all feel it.
We have our moments.
Our reactions are sinful.
Some of us spew.
Some of us brood.
Some of us ignore.
But we all are guilty.

And, we all need encouragement in HUGE doses.  Especially when we screw up, or are trying to learn something new. 

But somehow, it seems this is often the time the enemy of my soul sends these phrases on a journey from the back of my memory to the tip of my tongue at lighting fast speed.  These often are the moments in which I'm trying to do life on my own strength, and just wanting things to go my way.  And they seldom do.  I know this.  Yet the tone of my voice, spewed reactive words, and an unforgiving and unapproachable disposition show in these moments I'm still desperately reaching for the one thing that is unreachable.......... control.

Control.
And it's out of reach every single time.
Because it was never intended to be within my grasp.
Yet, I reach for it.
You reach for it.

We throw those silent expectations of ourselves as parents right out the window.... to protect them from anything that would hurt them, to give them what was best, maybe perhaps the life that we never had, we vowed we would never  do this or that, we promised to always be there for them, that they could tell us anything, that we would never hurt them.

Yet somehow in one moment....
Over something that doesn't even matter at all.......
The little sinner in them ignites the big sinner in us......
And we feel anger toward the very little things that we hold so dear......
And out of nowhere that same cozy intentional protective parent
Blows, or broods, or stews, or ignores and becomes:
A lie planter....
A spirit breaker....
A dream crusher.....
....and when they cool off, we all know it.


Didn't know we were signing up for this, did we?
Broken our childish naïve "I will never do that..." vows.
Parenting is incredibly hard.

So before we fall into mommy guilt overload, let's just really be honest and ask ourselves.... how's it really working?  What's a parent to do?

I mean, sure I can get my way.
Sin and all.
But at the end of the day, it's still evil.
And evil always brings destruction and death.
Eventually.

So what do you do in moments like these? 
Do you wear the "parent badge" and justify your sin? 
Do you pray and ask forgiveness? 
Do you apologize, and then just repeat again later?

I'm no expert.  But look around.  Our world is busy.  Rushed.  Hurried.  Stressed Out. 

Angry parents are no longer the abnormal, it is now abnormal to see a parent not stressed out.  In fact if they are not stressed out, they are likely checked out.  Parents are reactive today, not proactive....   And the more reactive we are, the more lies the enemy taunts us to feed our children..... which means our kids are feasting on them.  One by one, parental insults and wounds that slowly mound up to insecurities that will affect their daily adult lives.  Sure, some of them seem harmless to say.... but think about how harmless they feel.

And so many of us are spoon feeding our kids tiny little lies daily.

So how do we replace these lies with truth?

You know I am no licensed expert.
I have no fancy degrees on the wall.
In fact quite the opposite.

However, in Christ....
I can share with you how I follow Jesus in moments like these.
I can share with you how I bring the gospel, the good news, to my kids after I've blown it.
I can share with you that our kids need it just as much as we do.
I can share with you how I tap into my spiritual lineage to overcome the sin patterns of my earthly lineage.
I can share with you that it is working to redeem the lies I've feed my own kids as a parent.

Redemption is beautiful.

Okay, story time:

A couple years ago as I was pondering what my role as a parent looked like to "spiritually train" my children, when God placed something very simple on my heart.  You bring the good news to them.... over and over and over.  At first, I thought that this was as simple as making sure they understood what Jesus did for them..... after all, that is the good news--the gospel.  Then I went and made it all difficult and unrealistic thoughts of family devotions (You know-- the thing that young dad is "suppose" to know how to structure and lead even though young mom has every detailed idea of what it's "suppose" to look like.... and yes-your young family is "supposedly" failing miserably it even though no one has actually said it..... yup, those) and anyway... insecurity hit big time.  The more I thought about it, the more intimidated I got.

Been there?
There's hope.

Sometime later on, after I'd spoken harshly to one of the kids, I found myself on my knees before God asking first for His forgiveness, and taking some time to cool down before going to apologize.  That was my messy routine:  Blow up-- cool down-- pray up-- apologize-- repeat.... (Can anyone relate?)  I prayed a simple prayer that I'd prayed many times, but this time it changed my parenting forever.  Lord, help me to go make this right.  His answer caught my attention.... YOU can't.

YOU can't....

     What do you mean I can't?

YOU can't, but I can.

     I know you can, Lord. 

God wasn't saying I shouldn't apologize.
He wasn't saying what I had done was unforgivable.
He wasn't saying I should throw in the towel and give up.
He wasn't saying reconciliation was hopeless.
That's not the character of God.

I humbled myself, yet again, and went and found the child I had crushed and began to apologize...
It started as my typical parenting apology.....

I'm sorry I became angry and spoke harshly to you. 

      It's ok.... (face disagreeing.)

I know how I spoke to you was wrong, mommies make mistakes too.

      I know..... (shared comfort in knowing we both blew it.)

I've asked Jesus to forgive me, can you forgive me too? 

      Yes.  (Softening a little....)

So, what can we do different so this doesn't happen again next time?

       Well, I can try to.....  

That's when it began to hit me deeper..... YOU can't.  My child extended forgiveness and began to rewalk the situation, but my mind began to race.  That feeling when you know change is upon you... but you can't define exactly how just yet.  God at work.  It began to hit me that on our own strength we can do nothing to guarantee that sin won't affect us "next time."  Sure, it's important to rewalk situations with children to help them learn what they can change in their choices.... but God was showing me what I was missing. 

I was relying on my own words.
I had been operating on my own strength.
I was hoping I could choose better next time.
I was tapping into the blood of Christ for forgiveness.....
BUT, I had never tapped into the truth to breathe life into the wounding words I'd spoke.

You bring the good news to them.... over and over and over.

YOU can't.... but I can.

       I know you can, Lord.

       Show me how. 

In Christ, we have no reason to fear the hard times..... in parenting, in marriage, or in life.  I realize that it is in the hard times that more faith is required, and more teachable moments appear.  We teach our children far more about what really matters in life during difficult days than during the compliant days.  Because in these days they see our dependency on God, they see our strength is not enough, they see we can't do it on our own..... and they realize their own need for The Lord.

This is what I was missing in the aftermath of my "mama has really blown it" moments.....

Truth.
The gospel.
The good news.
Life giving words.

I didn't get it then, but I am beginning to get it now. 
You see, this is more than a story about the God-man dying on a cross to pay for sin. 
It's a story that includes you and me..... and all of our kids.
A promise that from the beginning of time there has been plan and a purpose for our lives.
It is the ultimate triumph over evil with perfect good.
A guarantee that all that the enemy wanted to use for bad, God can use for good.
I know no other man that can promise and deliver such things.

Life giving words.
The good news.
The gospel.
Truth.

When we become a new creation in Christ, we also acquire a spiritual lineage.

So in Christ, we have a spiritual lineage as well as an earthly lineage.  Which means..... I can choose to walk in my earthly lineage full of reactions and sin.  Or...... I can tap into my spiritual lineage in Christ and breathe life into the destruction.

So what does this look like for us?

After I get upset and say things I really don't mean that are hurtful....

I don't stop at I'm sorry.
I don't stop after rewalking.
I don't stop after asking forgiveness.
It's not over when I've cooled down.
It's not over when I've prayed....

It's not over until I bring the good news to them.

I share the incredible story that before time even began, that there was a plan for their little life....
And it is written by the God that created the whole world....
The giver of every heartbeat, and controller of all the heavens and waters.....
And there is a purpose here that only they can fulfill......
Their own special part of a divine plan to help grow His kingdom...
A kingdom where we cannot cause one another hurt or pain....
Like the pain I just caused you.
Which is why God sent His Son, Jesus for us....
Because no matter how hard we try....
We blow it.
We make mistakes.
We say things that hurt others.
Even some times to those who matter most to us.
And God knows, and understands, and willingly forgives us if we ask.
Isn't that good news?
I've asked Him to forgive me, can you?
You want to know more great news?
And then I tell them a few of my favorites off of here...... such as:
You are wonderfully made in the very image of God.....
His plans for you have a hope and future....
I'm sorry I said something that would make you doubt any of that.
Your an incredible kid, and God trusted me with the incredible task of raising you...
And I'm going to mess up a million times....
But you know what else?????
Then I'm gonna bring you good news.... a million and one.


My words may heal... or wound.
My prayer may be powerful.... or ineffective.
My choices may help.... or hurt.
But Jesus Christ always bring healing, help, power, and life.


So the real question is: 

What do we have to loose by bringing the good news to our kids when we've blown it as a parent?  

Nothing.  It is all gain.  Yet, we often try to bring them the good news at the "good" times in an idealistic "family devotion" kind of way.  Yet, Jesus brought the good news to the hurting, and met them right where they were at in the middle of their pain and suffering. 

Following Jesus isn't conditional.
He wants us in the trenches for Him.
Even (and especially) the ones we've dug ourselves. 
Dare to push past and earthly I'm sorry.
And reach for the one thing that is always reachable....
Good news.

You bring the good news to them.... over and over and over.

YOU can't.... but I can.

       I know you can, Lord.

       Show me how. 

I believe I have taught more about Christ to my children in the moments that go terribly wrong, than the moments that seem smooth.  Every time I blow it I have an opportunity to bring the gospel to them.  When their little lives seem so hard, and when my words have wounded them to doubt who they really are.... He gives me the incredible privilege of bringing them good news and breathing life back into their broken little spirits..... by bringing the good news to them. 

And it's working.
It holds my marriage together.
It holds my little family together.
It points them to the One who can fix what I can't.
It is showing my kids following Christ is far more than being obedient.
It assures us all of who we are in His eyes, so we treat one another better.
It is the ultimate reminder that control cannot be grasped by anyone but God.
It stops the eye rolling of children seeing right through otherwise false parental promises.

And best of all, it kicks unrealistic mommy guilt right back into the pit where it belongs.

Silent Signs full of Spoken Lies

You know the videos. 

Those silent ones where people bring a powerful message or story to life by flipping several cards or signs for their audience to read.  Hearts exposed.  Pain revealed.  Many times sharing the hurtful things that people have said or done.  Other times sharing their own thoughts or secrets that have never broken past their own skin.  Some of them inspiring and hopeful, others desperate cries to escape the entrapment within their own skin.  All are stories Christ cares deeply about. 

Ever feel like your silently carrying one of those signs?

Words penned on it that someone else has spoken about you.  Words you wondered if they were true.  Spoken by another. Sometimes we speak them to ourselves.  We pen things across our minds every single day in our self talk.  How would your silent video sign(s) read today?

I will never amount to anything.
I can't do anything right.
Worthless.
Fat.
I always mess things up.
I am hated.
Failure.
I'll be stuck forever.
Lazy.
I ask dumb questions.
Moron.
I have stupid ideas.
Ugly.
Not enough.
Perfect.
Unlovable.

We all have lies dancing through our thought life.  Some we've put there.  Some others have.  Parents.  Friends.  Enemies.  Coworkers.  Family.  Strangers......  It doesn't matter who spoke it, all lies are straight from the pit.

Many of us have been guilty of shouting these lies to our own children in moments of rage or anger.  The very ones we hope to build up, not tear down.  (Ouch!  Parents-saving this one for next time.)

What if the lies tattooed on our minds would suddenly raise to the surface and be worn on our skin?  Some appearing in bold large font in highly visible places.  You know, the ones you've heard all your life, or maybe were only spoken once, but who said it to you had great significance in your life.  Others would be faded from the years, but still there.  The recent ones would be still slowly being inked across your skin the more you toy with them.  A label someone else gave you.  A label you gave yourself.  For all to read.  For all to know.  A false identity.  Thankfully, this won't happen.

Something more incredible already has.....
Truth has been spoken about you. 
Before you were even born.
A real identity.

The world is very interested in self worth.
I've worked with lots of hurting girls and learned this:

The world does not need more self worth.
The world needs more of His worth.
We need to know who He says we are.
We need to know who we are to Him.
Jesus Christ.

Because once we know that, we can take the lies of this world that have been tattooed in our minds and hearts.... the silent signs that we are holding up today, and replace them with the truth.  Anytime, anyplace.  I'm sharing my favorite Truth cards with you below.  These are the ones that have helped me replace lies in my own life...  This is how I bring the gospel, the good news, alive in my own life each day.  The more stock I place in these truths and the less credit I give to the lies, the more content and meaningful my life becomes.  They are my true identity, who I was created to be.  I took hold of all of these things when I accepted Christ, but I still have remind myself of who I am in Him every. single. day.... when I blow it as a mom or wife..... whenever doubt, fear or worry comes to visit me.... when I look in the mirror and all my imperfections seem to magnify-- I am still taking hold of them each day.

Read through them.... S L O W L Y.   Listen to the truth that has been spoken of you, dear one.  This is what Jesus has written on top of the lies of your silent sign for you today. Try a little bit of HIS worth on for size, and I think you'll find it looks good on you.  Take just one today, and repeat it to yourself over and over and over.  Take another tomorrow.  Begin to let the truth set you free.

YOU are the apple of My eye…  Psalm 17

you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE…  Psalm 139

you are My TREASURED POSSESION…  Deuteronomy 7

you are REDEEMED... Galations 3

you are My RIGHTEOUSNESS in Christ... 2 Corinthians 5

you are the TEMPLE of My Holy Spirit... 1 Corinthians 6

you are FREE from condemnation! Romans 8

you are MORE than a conqueror! Romans 8

you are FREE from weaknesses and diseases… Matthew 8

you are a JOINT-HEIR with My Son… Romans 8

you are a BRANCH of My TRUE VINE… John 15

you are the LIGHT of My world… Mathew 5 & Ephesians 5

you are in the palm of MY HAND… Isaiah 49

I will NEVER leave you or forsake you…Deuteronomy 31, Joshua 1, & Hebrews 13

you are the SALT of My earth... Matthew 5

you are COMPLETE in Me. Colossians 2

you are ACCEPTED in Me… Ephesians 1

you are ALIVE in Me...Romans 6

you are covered by the shadow of MY HAND… Isaiah 5

you are My AMBASSADOR... 2 Corinthians5

you are a MEMBER of My HOUSEHOLD… Galations 6

My LOVE and FAITHFULLNESS go before you… Psalm 89

I LOVE you as much as I love My Son… John 17

NOTHING can pluck you from my hand... John 10

you are DELIVERED from darkness… Romans 6 & Colossians 1

you are a NEW CREATION… 2 Corinthians 5

you are my CHILD… 1 John 3

I LOVED you before the creation of the world… John 17

in ME there is REST… Matthew 11

I know the PLANS I have for you…Jeremiah 29

I give POWER to the weak… Isaiah 40

I supply ALL your needs… Philippians 4

OVERWHELMING VICTORY is yours through My Son… Romans 8

the PEACE I give, the world cannot… John 14

My GRACE is sufficient for you… 2 Corinthians 12

My STRENGTH is made perfect in your weakness… 2 Corinthians 12

even now My Son is EXHAULTED in your body…Philippians 1

My promise preserves your LIFE…Psalm 119

let my UNFAILING LOVE be your COMFORT… Psalm 119

Selah, my friend.... Selah.

Parents, more on bringing this good news to your kids (especially after you've blown it) next time.

Fragile Hearts... Handle With Care

This morning I want to take a bit of time to talk with you.

I miss you!

Some of you would be very proud of me, I'm actually typing this post, and not just speaking into a device that is doing the typing for me.  That's only because the rest of my house has yet to come to life this morning. 

Nine months ago, a new season of life birthed for me in many ways... one of the many drastic areas of change has been having a "personal assistant".  Since then, I haven't typed a note or post, set an alarm, dialed a number, plugged in a destination to gps, looked up a number, wrote down an address, or clipped a coupon....  (although I have actually typed a few texts on occasion... but yes, most of them have been spoken as well.)  It. is. weird.  Diving right into the smart phone world after having no cell phone at all..... I've tackled the learning curve head on--entirely too many of you would be ridiculously proud.  I'm proud because I still own it, it doesn't own me.  Many of you know this first hand because of my less-than-instant replies.  = )

Anyhow, this post was intended to be short and simple.

I wanted to ask for your prayers.  

You have overwhelmed me.  In a great way... but also incredibly challenging as well.

First of all, THANK YOU for all your messages about topics that you would like sound advice about.  I am honored that you have trusted me with some very tough and delicate areas of your life, and humbled that my perspective may influence you in some way.

Second, although I haven't been posting--I have been busy addressing them.  But as some of you know, some of these areas are not easy to write or talk on.  I have currently wrote (ok-spoke) on all but one.... however they are hovering in the blog world somewhere between compose and publish.

Which brings me to....

Third-- after praying about many of these topics, I feel as though there is likely a whole community of folks who may need advice on how to follow Jesus in these areas.  So as I have shared with many of you privately, I am praying about posting the topics here.

Some of these are pretty touchy.

Delicate areas.

Fragile.

So again, I ask that you would join me in praying about publishing these posts.  Pray that God would direct the audience he has for them, pray that they would be received with no spirit of condemnation, pray as I reread and edit that He would illuminate anything that is untrue, unnecessary, or divisive, and certainly pray that His light would illuminate the darkness that is tucked away in our hearts and lives.

Friend, you know I don't take this lightly, or you would have never trusted me with your heart in the first place.  Thank you for your prayers.

I had originally planned to slowly ramp up into some tougher topics, but clearly the audience of this blog is ready. 

I should have known better.  = )

Last, I hear you.

Your words are not falling on deaf ears, and I think God will use your transparency in a glorious way.

If there is an area in your life that you are finding it hard to follow Jesus, or unsure of how that may look... always feel free to post in the comments or pm me about it.


Let's pray together:

Thank you Heavenly Father for your attention to every detail of our life.  Thank you for making us so complexly divine.  Thank you for complicated areas of this life that make it hard to follow you.... as we look into them deeper, may we come out the other side with more faith than today.

Lord, You know the words that are written, You know the hearts that need tended, You know the prisoners that need freed, and Your truth is the key.  I pray that your Spirit would direct me to touch these delicate areas with the tenderness of Your grace and with life giving words of Truth.  We pray that no spirit of condemnation would seep in. Thank you, Father for mentoring relationships that span the test of distance.  But mostly, thanks in advance for the work You are about to do.... we are humbled that You would include us.  Gently open eyes, tenderize hearts, and take away any blindness or fear we have that is keeping us from following You.

We pray for courage, discernment, and revelation..... and we trust Your perfect timing.

In the Freeing name of Jesus we pray,
Amen

Cozy Christianity: How comfy are you?

If your reading this today, you likely live in a place of comfort and freedom.... glorious. terrible. comfortable. freedom.  (I hope you understand this better in a bit....)  Honestly, I wish we both were in my cozy living room right now having this chat on my sofa, diving into this journey together.... but we're not, so let's embrace this new not-as-cozy journey in stride, okay?

All of us desire to have kids that do good, have good character, are educated, and are morally good.... and most of this want this for ourselves.  We can agree on that.  I didn't wake up in the morning saying "I hope to raise a rotten kid today!"... did you?  Yet many of us, and our kids are rotting away inside while our schedules and brains get fuller and fuller... (more on this one next time!)   We're about to break past that.... because following Jesus is so much more than a moral lifestyle.

Following Jesus is more about BEING than DOING.   
It's about surrender, not self empowerment.
It's about giving Him the place of One and only, not One of many.
It's about relationship, not religion.
It's about humility, not selfish ambition.
It's about intimacy, not cohabitating with Jesus.
It's about repentance (turning away from evil), not solely forgiveness.
It's about selflessness, not selfishness.
It's about knowing that I can offer nothing, but there is a God who has everything I need.
It's about serving, not only salvation.
It's about denying ourselves, and picking up our crosses, loving our neighbor more than ourselves, and
.....it's okay if this is all Christian-ese to you, it used to be for me too--we all start somewhere!
Lastly, it's about finding true purpose, lasting satisfaction, peace in a storm, and real meaning.

I know some of you are thinking...Whoa---where'd I get so far off track?  It's okay.... we live in a loud world filled with distractions that pull US ALL away.  The good news is that none of us will ever be completely "on track", but we all can be MORE "on track" than we were yesterday.  The great news is that today we can turn around and step into (or back into) the light.  Wherever it is that we sit today, let's all ask ourselves this.... How am I daily using (or not using) my  glorious.  terrible.  comfortable.  freedom. to freely and wholeheartedly follow Him?  Or even harder for some of us... when (or how) was the last time I truly followed Jesus instead of the crowd or my schedule?  Honestly, stop right now and think on this........  We've got some work to do, my friend, don't we?

Let me share a recent story with you.......  About a month ago, when we first moved in to our new home, two of my sisters families had drove over to help us begin unloading.  One of my sisters took on the task of unloading coolers into the fridge, and the other began working on filling up cupboards.  Both set to work, only to learn very quickly that while the kitchen was perfectly clean on the surface, it was a filthy mess inside.  Out came the cleaning supplies, and before anything was unpacked, we had to clean up the inside of everything.  I know your thinking, what in the world does this have to do with following Jesus??  Stay with me....  Over the next week of repeating this same task in all the little unseen places of the house (cabinets/closets/vanities), I kept thinking about when Jesus called the religious leaders whitewashed tombs saying that they were clean on the outside but unclean and dead on the inside.  I'm not sure about you, but the last time I saw I whitewashed tomb was on the preview of a horror movie, and what came out of it was not very pretty at all!  You see, that is what our house was.... clean on the surface, but a filthy mess if you looked any deeper.  And this, my friends, is what many of us look like to Jesus today.  On the surface we look like morally good Christian do-ers, but to Christ-the one who sees us from the inside out- we are distant, remote, broken, and desperate for Him.  Just like my sisters and I cleaned up the filth within our home, Jesus wants to do that in our hearts........  Today.

Every day we take time to dress up the outside, my friends, it's time to tend to what we look like on the inside.  I hope you are as ready (and scared to half to death) for this journey as I am.  You know better than to expect profound eloquent words in our chats, but like always, I certainly hope you find them incredibly practical and personally challenging.  It wouldn't seem like time spent with you, my friend, if we didn't spend some time in prayer.... so let's do just that. 

But first.................. welcome back to my cozy sofa, my friend.  = )

Heavenly Father,
I thank you for pursuing me and bringing me to the place of learning what it may look like to follow Jesus.  I confess that I know I have work that needs to be done in my heart, work that only You can do.  I lay my insecurities and fears before you, and ask you to tend to them.  Surround me with Your love... fill me with Your grace.... and help me to fix my eyes upon Jesus so that this work can be done.  Remove the scales from my own eyes, Lord, and protect me on this journey from the enemy of my soul. 
In the powerful name of Jesus I pray,
Amen.

Mentoring Over The Miles

Mentoring young adults has been an incredibly amazing part of my life.  There is nothing quite as earthly important, to me, than investing in the next generation during such defining seasons of their lives.  We all are faced with many decisions and choices that will forever impact our lives in a season before we have any wisdom of our own to tap into yet.  Like much in life, it seems backwards..... or are we just backwards in trying to navigate it alone??

Mentees, you know my heart in this, and how it bleeds for those abandoned into early adulthood, regardless of what your home life or upbringing has been.  As many of you have moved on, several of you have been asking me to write for quite some time now.... well, I have finally found myself in a season of life where that is exactly what God is asking me to do.  Now with ALL of you at such a great distance... it is time.  I want you to know that YOU are the heartbeat behind all that this blog will come to be.  It is you I will think of, and pray for, as I type... What defining seasons you are in!  So many of you have (or are getting) married and are beginning to raise your own families, others of you are still in the thick of figuring what you really want to do with your life, and some of you aren't quite sure how you ended up where you are.... regardless, you are all in the season of establishing roots.  I can't wait to talk about it!  It is my hope and His desire that the words found here would help you dig your roots a little deeper, so when the storms of life come, you may weather them well.

I know that many peer mom friends will also be reading this, and thinking... "I remember that!"  I celebrate our friendship and the life lessons we have learned (and are learning) along the way.  I hope you are always looking for someone younger than you to do life with, and I know this will give us a chance to revisit some of the foundational truths we discovered together over the early stages of adulthood, marriage, and parenting.  It is my hope and His desire that revisiting topical truths here would fan into flame any areas of our own lives where we need to reapply the basics, or further develop them for this next season of parenting.... as our kiddos are entering a rapid season of change, let's all take some time out for a tune up so we may grow up, and branch out into full maturity!

Likewise, I am sure that some of my own mentors will read this.... and it is you ladies that I thank.  Thank you for investing in me, challenging me, stretching me, and believing in me.  We all need someone in our corner encouraging us forward when we'd like to just throw in the towel or don't know where to turn.  You have been this for me.  You have modeled a lifetime of learning, and I trust that somehow if the Lord got you here, He will even place a nugget for you to find.  I give Him credit for any of these that you may discover, because it certainly isn't on my own that this might happen.  It is my hope and His desire that you would be blessed in knowing this is part of the fruit you helped nurture to flourish and grow.

New friends, I welcome you.  One of my most treasured mentors I've never met, yet she has forever changed my life.  I trust if the Lord brought you here, that there is a good and glorious reason for it.  Please know that my words are far from perfect, and that I am no scholar or theologian.... I wish to not debate or argue, only to offer the perspective that God has given to simple little me.  Journey with me simply and graciously, and if the Spirit begins to stir up something deep within, I'm confident that He'd much rather you talk with Him about it anyway.  = )

Whatever season you find yourself in, I dedicate this next work to you all, and to my Lord, Jesus--asking Him to draw each of us to a deeper understanding of what it means to REALLY follow Jesus.

First topic.... coming soon.  = )